You're in the right path so far...
The only thing that could be said that this one that others haven't said in the line of constructive criticism: Make your snare a tad bit more powerful. If you can, try to see if you could get an actual drum hit, and compress it with a slight bit of reverb. There, you should be able to have a heavier sounding drumline.
You have your entire layout down fine for a hip-hop track, so there isn't really any purpose to have 'more transition' if you intend of having an MC on this. The problem with more transition is that it may over power the MC and most people might focus on the beat more than anything.
As far as this track goes, I give a solid 10/10 for the simple fact that everything is on point for an MC to rap on this. The 'shallow strings' as Nomader pointed out aren't shallow at all. If this was to be a classical track, then I would agree with him. But since there's more to this than just strings, you can't really have your strings overpower every other instrument on here.
Kudos to you on this work of art.
REMINDER : FIX THE SNARE =P