Damn it
This is an awesome concept (it seems so much more interesting than a lot of the other fantasy submissions)... but I'm going to say that other reviewers are right: you're not up to this level yet. First - DO NOT just end the music like you did... fade it, work on art dirtection, get the artwork to be a little more sophisticated. What you did is great for a starter... but god help you if you try to make something this serious (and conceptually bad ass) at this level... I'm willing to bet you'll get the living shit blammed out of it and it won't do your effort (which is obviously there) the justice you deserve. But seriously, godo job on this and good luck.