Great Submission! Make More
I really liked this submission. As the previous reviewer said, you made it stop just short of pornography, and yet pushed all the right buttons. I only didn't like that one of the girls would never respond to me, saying that she wont even notice me. Aside from that, I would like to see more submissions like this, expecially going further into adult rating. You already have Mature rating: you might as well use it!
Keep it up!