pretty cool^^
you kinda got a Ozzy feel going there. lower the volume on the drums, turn up the vocals, work on some more interesting lyrics maybe..., make sure you're on pitch in the singing as well. (there were a few places where it got off a little) turn up the bass, maybe soften the bass a little too. pretty cool drums on the turn of about 5:00, it was a nice smooth segway to the ending.
4/5
-crepth