I can't find where to buy lotion, for my calloused hands,
To get the seamless cream-filled touch, that my passion demands,
I've searched far and wide across these crusty lands,
I've tried drug, super, furniture and pet stores, they don't stock my brand.
Cracked and dry, gods please hear my cry make me moist or I may die.
Can't wait for long. With calloused hands I cannot stand to touch my dong.
I want to glide like a penguin, pulling it like a tendon,
Within my hands I hold pure pleasure; I rub it extra for good measure,
A seamless piston motion,
Briny as the saltiest deep.