Pretty charming! The art isnt something that would wow the audience, but still charming. It's a great start for something processionally made. Of course, content like this is pretty objectionable here in Newgrounds and doesnt have a place in the portal at all, it's not the best of places for critque.
However, I do admire your stubbornness. Just work on your craft a bit before you can submit your own real submission later! Best of luck!