Good job bro. Try getting some voice actors from Newgrounds, it'll motivate ya.

The music choices, I think, were okay. The uh... Dialogue and everything.. style.. Made it all seem silly. I liked it, because it made me laugh. Though I am not sure if it was deliberately done this way.. IF.. it was supposed to serious.. it could take some work. However, I see great potential for a uh.. form of comedy? I liked it.

I say it still needs a lot of work on the audio and the directing side.
It's hard to follow because the voices sound like you've been speaking in a box and music is at times too loud to hear what people are saying to each other.
This what was made me lose interest in the story.
Work on the audio side a lot. A lot more. Then remember that characters sometimes are not speaking, but thinking to themselves. Introduce those pauses in the dialogues giving a better rhythm to the scene we're looking at.