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I'm uploading this in the hopes that someone will understand.
You know Neon, it was really surprising to see that your real life experiences mirrored mine exactly 98%. I've been suffering depression for 35 years (I didn't finally get diagnosed until about a five years ago and finally on medication.)
Like you, I too was creative and artistic, but the years were not kind to me. I withdrew, pushed away. My talent suffered. I stopped. Never wanting to pick up a pencil to draw again. It wasn't until I started taking medication that I took pencil to hand again. I felt a resurgence of my talent returning, but my dark side unfortunately was stronger and ever more hateful and made me realize my talent, which I thought I was good at, made me cynical to everything I created. I can draw/write something and a day later, look back at it and just want to throw it away in disgust. I'm still working at it.
It's hard. Some days are harder than others. And sometimes you just want to quit. Don't. I really want to say it gets better. And in at small point in time, it will. It will be fleeting, but don't despair. Because before you know it, you start to experience a lot more small points. And they will all add up. I wish you the very best. Take care of you and yourself.
This is certainly very admirable of you to share your story of your struggle with depression as not many sufferers would do so in fear of being looked down upon but really,there is nothing wrong with being depressed as everyone goes through it in their lives.Your story summarised the social problems a depressed person would go through and the tone in your voice adds more seriousness to the problem/s and from a personal account,mostly if not everything is sadly true,including the part where friends would not only desert but sometimes,become enemies of someone who has 'the condition'.It also indirectly questions not just how we should deal with sufferers in real life,but also whether we should be helping or ignoring in the first place.Thank goodness the creator was able to get back on her feet after going through some painful times(the loss of your best friend was also one of the greatest losses to Newgrounds) and also not letting depression con-troll(can't help it) her,so good work and keep going strong!Thanks for sharing.
whats a pavilion
Believe me when I say: All the people in Highschool DO NOT matter, and will not matter in your future. At all. When you're done with HS, you move on to college, which is vastly socially different and will make some great friends. Most of the extraordinarily petty adolescent garbage will be behind you. Only keep dear your closest friends. Keep motivated, learning, focused and continue to aspire to animate, you'll only see yourself get better and better. I was in 6th grade when I had a bully. After almost a full school year of torment we finally ended up scraping. I don't really know if there was a winner, we both got hits in and teachers intervened...but, he got the picture. For now, stand-up for yourself - even if it's hard to do. You have to do it. Fight back, if they can keep getting the better of you, then they'll keep on. Don't let these insignificant garbage human beings intersect and tarnish your life any more than they have. This applies to school, family, work, whatever...I know it's all easier said than done, as I too deal with depression and it does get hard. We're human beings, damn it...we're capable of so much. You're better than they and most likely, you always will be. Keep. Creating.
*steps off soapbox* phew...
Wow...that was...that was heart wrenching. Dear, I am so sorry for what you have been through. I started to choke up a little bit. It's terrible to see a nice kid such as yourself get bullied just because of your condition. But honey, kids your age and younger just don't understand. They aren't mature enough to say, "Oh, it seems like she's down...why don't we cheer her up?"
I don't know if this helps, but, if I were your age and with you in school I would be your friend. I always look out for the underdogs. And if you ever need someone to talk to, I'll be here. I'm always willing to extend my hand and do the best I can to help. I know I helped a few people out of depression, so maybe I can help you too.
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