Be a Supporter!

Credits & Info

Uploaded
Jan 15, 2012 | 4:10 PM EST
  • Daily Feature January 16, 2012

Related Stuff

If you liked this, check these out!


Author Comments

WARNING: This cartoon is very violent. VERY violent. If you are a little girl - best run away.

Check out my Youtube channel here: http://www.youtube.com/us er/Prosnorkulus

Thanks for the reviews! I read every one. Still working on the sequel - I aim to finish it by the end of this year.

Reviews


Neophyte-RoninNeophyte-Ronin

Rated 3 / 5 stars January 16, 2012

Prosnorkulus: Bloated with Gas and Anger Issues

Okay, so if you watched "Mike's Date" by MiddleFingerRings (this review will be waiting for you when you get back), we're on the same page. Now that you know some filaments of the guy's style, let's begin. Prosnorkulus is a mock-up of a very, very bad period piece with fantasy stereotypes and excessive gore. The plot does not need to make sense and it is a given that the audience suspends its disbelief. Yet, not everybody can do so, not to such an unrealistic extreme, anyway.

Enter Prosnorkulus, a Dwarf who never speaks, has an ambitious brown beard, and does nothing but ax anyone who disagrees with his ridiculous mission or just pisses him off in general. His eyes glow red when this happens, yet he is some kind of wonderful when it comes to personal heroism. He literally has sex with all the maidens in the region inside his war tent, and they are all piled together that the thing bursts at the seams. Anyway, uh, I didn't quite get the plot. Either that's a failing on part of the author or I just missed something. Anyway, he's doing something yet has to contend with a wiry, anachronistic sniper using a high-precision rifle, a thick contrast to Prosnorkulus' Warcraft-tinged medieval blunderbuss.

If this cartoon succeeds at one thing, it is the cartoony art design. Every character is unique and expressive, with all the class of a Chick Tract and the intellectual quotient of a mule hoof. The explicit gore is noteworthy as everything is rendered in slow motion tweens that are so over-the-top that you just bat your head from side to side in disbelief. It's hard to keep THAT suspension up, let me clue you. Ryan Maddox peppers in anachronisms such as drill sergeants, homosexual noblemen, squinty-eyed losers, and people you just know are going to die. All their faces fit.

What it fails to do is use any impressive animation. It relies upon slow-motion death sequences so much that you start to yawn with the escargot excrement that is the action sequences. The pace drags and little traditional methods exist outside of lip-synchronization for voice-overs. Oh, and a movie like this requires more than two or three voice-over talents, because even though they did a good job, they did a poor job at masking their identities between characters. I could tell Josh Tomar played the king, for instance, alongside several other characters. It's a struggle for any voice-over talent to obscure their regular voice with accents and delivery, but here, it seemed like they didn't bother trying. This movie should have had far more voice talents involved, in other words.

Other failings of Prosnorkulus include reliance upon dead air background noise and an ear-grinding dubstep soundtrack--PURE DUBSTEP--which hammers in the fact that if Hans Zimmer ain't scoring your action movie, kiss your box office earnings goodbye. The appropriateness of the soundtrack--in terms of offending every last bystander--succeeds, but it wasn't necessary since the movie already is. Instead, Prosnorkulus needs background ambience, it needs a bloated soundtrack like Skyrim: a heroic Scandinavian choir and overplayed brass segments. That way the sniper can clip this jackass in the knee and it'd be topical, though Skyrim jokes are already old.

In summary: it's badly written, badly paced, badly overdone and badly executed. The effects are cheap, laughable, the voice talents are overworked, and the jokes, while they got me to laugh with their gratuity, fail to stand up against other works, including "Mike's Date", which excels by keeping its scope in check. It's a flash that takes forever so you see once and never look back, a forgettable period comedy with obvious juvenile inspiration and irritating execution. It's meant to piss you off, but unlike Fisthead and other gratuitous gags, it wears its welcome out too soon.

If Ryan Maddox is considering a Prosnorkulus sequel or even a series, I recommend narrowing the speaking parts and overall scope down to a trickle because the only thing I remember now of Prosnorkulus is his ridiculous ponderous gait.


MiddleFingerRings responds:

Come on guys, don't vote this as a useless review. Clearly our pseudo-intellectual friend has put a lot of work into it. ;D

Just to be clear; there were some good points in there, but your choice to direct it to the audience rather than to me, while simultaneously tearing the work to pieces, is a poor one. Also, all of the good points were so overwhelmed by the 'speaking like a critic' bullshit that I found it hard to pick them out.


M8stateM8state

Rated 5 / 5 stars January 16, 2012

I LIKED IT!!!

something we have all been waiting for a fantasy toon that doesnt take itself too seriously it has humor,ultra violence, a crazy promiscuos dwarf & a its own sound track XD only thing i would add is maybe a scary beat when prosnorkulus gets pissed at somebody i think that would add some atmosphere 10/10 keep at it & i hope u do make more now if we can just hold the CEO of cartoon network hostage & force him to FINALLY make a full season of krognar the barbarian ( at least i think thats the name ) ill really be happy = )



RetrosamuraiRetrosamurai

Rated 5 / 5 stars January 16, 2012

If only all my problems could be solved by

hacking people in half or just shooting them. The world would be a better place. I can't wait to see the sequel to this movie. Keep up the good work.



triggadiggatriggadigga

Rated 5 / 5 stars January 16, 2012

Best thing i've ever seen on newgrounds

Reminds me of cartoons i would draw when i was at school with gore and such , brilliant



TheWightTheWight

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars January 16, 2012

Weeeellll....

I agree almost entirely with Monsieur-Monsieur - but for one point. I think the dubstep fitted perfectly - if anything, there should have been more dubstep! I particularly agree that it needed more action, less talking. I feel the humour needed more witty one-liners.


People find this review helpful!