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Credits & Info

Uploaded
Sep 23, 2011 | 4:03 AM EDT

Author Comments

Took me a few days of trying to get it right, but here it is. My first Flash animation. Meet the Gift Giver, he wants more than directions.

Any feedback or suggestions?

Reviews


XsakuXXsakuX

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars October 10, 2011

Not to shabby.

For your first submission, this seems pretty solid!
The lip-syncing seems to be pretty well done, the artwork is decent, and everything seems to flow rather well!

This piece isn't horrible, but it isn't a work of art either; The crude characters, mediocre comedy, and poor storyboarding made this hard to enjoy :(

Things to take a second look at:
- Lack of clarity in the audio made this submission difficult to understand (Haggard's suggestion of subtitles was actually a really great one)
- Crude character design can really contribute to the comedic value of your work (take South Park for example), but you should really focus on your camera angles/ character movement more

Overall solid effort, but could use something more

~Dj Sonik

-Review Request Club-


ManNSmkyRoom responds:

Thanks for watching, think I may have fixed the audio. Fingers crossed!


SCTE3SCTE3

Rated 4 / 5 stars October 8, 2011

Not too bad

Well you did quite well here on making something very short and humorous anyways. Gives a good laugh to someone who enjoys watching this kind of stuff anyways. Kind of felt like nonsense at the same time but I think this turned out pretty good after all.

The animation was quite smooth although there were barely noticeable details only someone real picky would likely notice such as the spirit thing having a bit of black line leaving his neck open and other minor details. The animation was still pretty smooth though. The knife through the skull was pretty strange since I guess he was strong enough to do that. The bucket of chicken was amusing as it had Hell Fried Chicken on it hinting that the thing was from hell.

The audio was good but at some parts you kind of feel like they were moving away from the microphone when they were speaking taking down the audio level a little bit on this piece. The background music was pretty good though when the demon spirit thing was speaking.

The preloader was good here since it was Newgrounds. Only thing I would suggest is adding a replay button at end rather thank having it skip back to the first frame where the preloader is as it feels like it would become an endless loop to the person.

Overall, not really all that bad, it had its funny moments but it was pretty good overall.

Review Request Club


ManNSmkyRoom responds:

Thanks for watching, added a play button so it just doesn't loop, I found that to be annoying.


HaggardHaggard

Rated 3 / 5 stars October 8, 2011

Not bad for a first flash

The sound is really muffled for me, I couldn't really get what was going on here. Subtitles might help here.

Also I found the flash to be pretty slow (maybe because I couldn't understand anything that was said). Especially the last part where that hobo was eating seemed to be dragged on forever.

The drawings are decent and are pretty close to the "barrier" where I would call them good. I liked that you put in some nice details, like the black eye of the hobo. I also liked the background you chose, it fits the scene of the flash pretty well. Of course the image was a bit blurry in the zoomed in scenes, but the background still looked good.

Overall this is a good try for a first flash (I'm assuming this is your first flash, since there are no other submissions on your account) and I think you have some talent. The only way to get better is by practicing and submitting more!

{ Review Request Club }


ManNSmkyRoom responds:

Thank you, sorry it felt slow because of the sound volume. This is my first animation and I plan on making more, it's quite fun!


GimmickGimmick

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars October 7, 2011

Not bad

I couldn't get what they were saying even though the sound volume was on full blast and I used my headphones, but I pretty much got the gist at the end. I'll elaborate later.

The art: Not that bad, but rather mediocre at the same time; the "black man" doesn't look as though he's starving, but has a potato head and a banana body. The beggar has a long brown beard, his eyes are a dot surrounded by a semicircle and another dot. The semicircle is presumably some eye outline or something. The gift giver is static and is just some smoothened out circles and rectangles merged together with some brush strokes.

The animation: It's smooth and the lips move in sync with the sound. The person walking, though, is rather broken, moving in spurts rather than smoothly (for me). There is no animation showing the beggar (?!) eating the chicken, i.e just a zoom in of his face going "nom nom nom" rather than him picking up his hands and eating it; the "drop of sweat" from the gift giver (?) is not obeying the laws of gravity, i.e the motion tween should have an ease of -100 rather than 100, since 100 means it slows down when it reaches the destination. That's not right.

The storyline: For those of you who have difficulty hearing the soft voice (such as me), I'll explain: It's a person (presumably a beggar) who wants food from the gift giver, and demands food. The gift giver then gives him chicken, which then through the exploitation of the stereotype that "black people" are attracted to chicken, kills the beggar to get it, only to find out it's chicken not popcorn. Something I found original, apart from the generalization part. So far, so unique...I guess.

The sound effects: Like I said, the voice was very soft and so I couldn't make out anything except for the louder words such as "proposition" and "food". It's only good that it could be figured out from watching the whole movie, otherwise I'd have given this a much lower rating.

All in all...not bad, I guess. You could've stopped it from looping, though.

~~ Summary ~~

~~ Good points ~~
1) Good art (?)
2) Nice lipsync
3) Smooth animation at points
4) Original-ish storyline

~~ Bad points ~~
1) Broken animation at points
2) Very low sound
3) Short

[Review Request Club]


People find this review helpful!
ManNSmkyRoom responds:

Thanks for the review, I'm still a little dumbfounded about the audio. Why is it so loud when I watch it but not for you? How can I make sure the audio on my next animation will be at a correct level?


smithaxe1smithaxe1

Rated 3 / 5 stars September 23, 2011

good but

i can hardly hear anything


ManNSmkyRoom responds:

Strange, I barely turn up my volume and it's way loud. That's one thing I was worried about was the sound.