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Uploaded
Sep 1, 2011 | 8:39 PM EDT
  • Daily 2nd Place September 2, 2011

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Author Comments

My final entry for the TOFA contest. The topic was "a clean slate". Enjoy.

-Jake

Edit 9/5/11: Second place in TOFA, not too shabby. Grats DaveBruno.

Edit 9/13/11: Don't do drugs kids. Drugs are bad!

Reviews


PsychopathPsychopath

Rated 1.5 / 5 stars September 13, 2011

Meh

A guy takes sleeping pills, because why? The utter lack of explanation as to why he decides to do this as a method of detouring his writers block is nonsense if he's supposed to flesh out an already conceived concept. If that's not the case, then was he expecting to get ideas from his dream? Because nothing more than a few random fight scenes occurred. Sometimes you can conceive a coherent story from your dreams, but dreams characterize your psychology with abstract concepts, not an actual abstract concept; not relating to you.

I can't imagine that based from his dream that his comic would amount to much, again, because all his dream amounted to was a clusterfucked fight sequence in which he fires bullets out of his finger tips.

The concept is good but the delivery is empty and nothing interesting happens, and these are dreams for Christ sake, you could have anything happen, have him get into a fist fight with the moon, or meet Cthulhu or fucking something other than a bunch of nameless dummies running at the protagonist only to get blown away into the vortex that is off frame.

The artwork and animation, at first, looks beautiful, but it's overshadowed by the choppy animation that takes effect immediately when he decides to take his sleeping pills. But after he descended into sleep, the art quality receded, so of course my first expectation was that you were going to utilize the draw back in detail so that the animation aspect would become easier as a result, so that way you could make the animation more fluent and vivid; not using the same frame to compensate for other frames in the timeline, but rather filling in every gap between frames.

I was wrong, the animation quality only compensated for the lack of detail to very little to no degree, so what's the point in dropping the detail quality if you're not doing it in favor for the animation? I could understand if it were like the same kind of format as Fantasia, where the animation and artwork start off simple and then gradually climb their way into being complex and structured, but no such thing occurs in this movie.

After the craptacular action sequence, the protagonist awakens to find a near blank page sitting on his drafting table before smiling at it, almost makes me think that the solution he found to his issue of writers block wasn't to get ideas from his dreams, but rather, to stay asleep constantly to avoid the work all together.

I think I understand the reason why the animation is so choppy; you're using brush tool. The tool itself isn't the problem, but it does tell me that you're inexperienced in using Flash and how you're structuring your animations. Try using pencil tool or line tool, it'll give you more of a firm grip and better foundation than brush tool.

I'll be expecting you to regurgitate this critique as soon as possible as you had with GodRustang, with moronic replies such as "Disguising your hateful and false opinions in the form of a critique does not make you smart or a voice worth hearing." implies that you take critique from no one. GodRustang wasn't being hateful in his review, he/she was being dismissive. And no, GodRustang never outright said that Newgrounds upholds a moral standing, only that he/she does. Stop exaggerating.

And yes, sleeping pills = drugs, what did you think they were? Pharmaceuticals are no different from illegal narcotics, the only difference being their legality. Yes GodRustang was being an idiot for bashing your movie on those grounds, as if to say you were advocating drug use when you weren't, but that doesn't excuse belittling an opinion for being an opinion, or the person advocating it.


This review is insanely well received!

GodRustangGodRustang

Rated 1.5 / 5 stars September 12, 2011

Nope, still looks like a giant drug reference.

Wonder if this comment will be banned too? Here's some creative critisim. The piece made very little sense, beyond the fact that the guy decided to take some drugs to get "inspiration" for his artwork. There was little to no overall story, it gave a very choppy feel overall from a story perspective.
That said the Druggy Animation here wasn't poorly made, time was put into this and the soundtrack was well placed, even if i found it personally annoying.
2 stars for the animation,
0 for the drug references
0 for the lack of story, beyond having an artist take drugs
1 for the music.
There you go. A full complaint against the blatant drug use and message supporting there of on a site full of kids along with a creative critique of the actual animation itself.


People find this review helpful!

pandamutantepandamutante

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars September 12, 2011

90s!

this is sooo of the 90s... kind of aeon flux style, it was cool!



BleedingblueskyBleedingbluesky

Rated 5 / 5 stars September 11, 2011

Let see if I got this right...

Guy working on making a comic book, something. Ran out of ldea. Took sleeping pills. Had a dream about... Proptype (The hands on the head and the yelling was like that Ps3 game, when Alex "eats" someone important.) Then he turned into a... Iron man? He killed a hoard of Pills? They was pink like the sleeping pills, maybe he killed sleep itself, he killed off the small frys then summoned up all of his power and let it out in one big bang and killed himself? Then he woke up and go "Sweeeet! I got a great ldea!" Fades to black "Oh, only if I can remember it...."

Oh, well. I am deaf, so I won't know what he's saying, so, Ten star for doing something that's hard to do. It's hard to make a good movie. Keep the dreaming up!


People find this review helpful!

horribleartisthorribleartist

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars September 11, 2011

Cool

It was good but when it started nothing seemed to of caught my attention