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The Never Ending Journey Collab, a flash comic created in the art forum and put together by me!
(dont worry if it doesn't load immediately, its 5.8 mb large)
It feature art from:
And of course: Jamesb1995
Original thread: http://www.newgrounds.com /bbs/topic/1024722/
I think this would be best summed up as an interesting concept that's a little rough around the edges.
I have mixed feelings about the artwork. On one hand, it is very diverse -seeing a whole array of artistic style and ability sewn together was pretty neat. It almost reminded me of a childrens book (with dicks XD). But on the other hand, it did tend to clash a little bit, visually.
Overall, I'd have to side with creativity here. Though not as polished as I would have liked, this was certainly very creative and diverse.
I really liked the idea of a single story patched together like a quilt by several different authors, but I think it could have been executed a little better. The randomness of the story did possess a humorous quality, but it was just too sketchy for my taste.
I think combining this unique method of storytelling from a storybook style to a traditional animation collab would be a cool idea. Maybe generate a story using several different authors and have one animator meld it together visually. It might be kind of a frankenstein, but it would be interesting to see, nonetheless. :P
Overall, I did enjoy this on some levels. The concept was original and there was some cool artwork but it just wasn't my style.
Review Request Club~
not that great
Really wasn't a big fan of this one man, for a few reasons. One being that the artwork picked for the collab kind of sucked, even though I shouldnt be throwing stones because my art skills are crap, but no pieces of art here were even decent, nothing grabbed my attention, next time you arrange an art collab, try and arrange some well put together and well-thought-out pieces of art to give the viewer something nice to see.
The audio was good, very relaxing and pleasant to listen to, really added some nice ambiance to the flash, good job with that.
Another thing I didnt like about it was that sometimes the text bubbles were hard to read, next time make them bigger and the text less sloppy so it's legible.
Better luck next time man, 2/5 from me.
Review Request Club
I'm going to base this review on the face that I've seen a couple of these recently and I'm not a very big fan of "slideshows," which is why the score is so low. There are not many submissions I would give a high score to when they are in slideshow form because there is no animation.
Your art is a little on the rough side. Granted I am able to see exactly what you're drawing and I could follow along with the story there are several things that you will need to improve. The backgrounds are a huge part of the story, animation, game, or anything you are creating. You really need to work on the backgrounds if you are looking to impress your viewers. I have seen too many flash or games that fail when it comes to backgrounding and it will significantly lower their score. As I said before many of the drawings are on the rough side, which makes it fairly painful on the eyes to look at. Smooth them up a little bit for a better effect. One of the most bothersome parts of this slideshow was the text on the bottom. I really had to strain my eyes to see a gray on gray background. Change the color to be a little more friendly on the eyes. One major problem I had was the some art should not have been in here. You will need to put a little bit more effort into some of these drawings. If you ARE going to make an art collab, then everything, and I mean EVERYTHING needs to be detailed. If it isn't colored than it better be one hell of a good drawing. This needs some improvement, but I think you all are very capable of doing this the right way.
Can't really complain too much about the audio. I felt like I was playing The Sims while I passed through the pictures. If you want a good effect on the viewer, especially since I'm assuming this is a story you all put together, then don't give the viewer the option to click through the pictures themselves. Put them on a timer and have music that will go along with everything that is going on in the story. Voice acting isn't always needed to get your point across. I can't complain about the loop for the music either, you didn't do too bad, but I just feel that it did not go very well with the slideshow.
Here's where the score really takes a downfall. Half the time I wasn't even able to read what was going on. You wasted so much space in this and did not give any effort toward the story. Make the bubbles bigger and easier to read, change colors, enlarge texts. If you cannot read it as the author or if you have a hard time reading it as the author, then please...PLEASE do something to fix it. Your viewers are more important than the score you receive. There was almost no effort put into dialoguing and the story was way too linear. Just because it was extended into a bunch of different people doesn't mean it isn't linear. You all have some work to do when it comes to a collab.
I have to keep this low mainly because an art collab story does not appeal as much to the Newgrounds viewers as a flash would unless it is spectacular art. There are so many things that need to be worked on to make this more original, but I have faith that they are things you all are capable of handling.
I gave a low score here because I believe that you are all capable of delivering us something better, but you didn't. There are a couple of stand out artists who did some good work, but some of you really need to practice your detail and backgrounds. Keep in mind I did my best not to rip this flash because it was a slide show. I gave you guys the benefit of the doubt in every category. Good luck to you all in the future.
\Review Request Club/
There really weren't any pieces which grabbed my attention as being decent whatsoever. Many of them looked like they were done on MS Paint, and I wasn't impressed at all.
Sometimes the images were too small, and I couldn't see the writing in them.
The actual idea for the thread isn't bad, but not very original. The story had some funny points, but, as you'd expect, not very original.
The music was nice, and quite relaxing. It didn't really seem to go with the story, but it wasn't bad.
You were let down by the art, which, considering it's an art collab, is not a good thing.
[Review Request Club]
I also watched you submit this more than once? Was there a specific reason behind that?
~ Animation/Graphics ~
These were very poor in most cases. The layout seemed alright, but could have looked so much better. The area that you had the names would usually make you use two different colored fonts. Instead you should have simply moved the name up a little bit and wouldn't have to worry about the colors.
The font that was used on the bottom was very hard to read. There should have been less story with the long ones so we could let our minds do the work more. The font was too small and blurry in most cases.
Some pictures were just very poor all around. Some needed a lot of work done and some were very hard to read because of how small the words are and how sloppy they were. Let's just say I had to use the zoom button a lot to get a good read out of them.
Don't get me wrong though not everything was bad. There were quite a few good artists in here. I think the poor artists might have outnumbered the good ones, but their were some really good ones in there.
~ Story/Content ~
A good idea nonetheless, but I think it was poorly produced. The storyline was very poor. I know things like this happen sometimes, but I just couldn't keep up with the story. In the beginning someone had died before anyone had even died in the artwork or story line. That was just one of many things that didn't make any sense or follow.
Sometimes there was too much text to read and it just made the story boring as it dragged on. The thing that worked the best was when the story line matched up well and when there was little to read and a lot for us to figure out on our own with the artwork.
~ Audio ~
I really didn't like the audio piece that you picked, but I can see that you picked it because it was a relaxing piece to listen to making it easy to read an listen at the same time. I almost think that a different genre would have worked for different sections so perhaps you could have thought about coding it so it changes during certain pictures or something like that. More small loops would have worked nicely for that.
Also, mute button is nice for people who don't want to listen to music while reading. I know I'm one of those people.
~ Overall ~
A good idea, but just done poorly. Hopefully I had some good ideas for you. Keep on working hard.
~ Review Request Club ~
An addictive and challenging simple math puzzle game
And so it dreamt.
Help Eddie get his watermelon so he can finally spend a nice and relaxing day at the beach
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