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-The second episode of the Shutupcup.com short series that we've submitted to Newgrounds. If you're interested in the series check out our website, http://www.shutupcup.com for more shorts and comics.
-Episode 6: World's Best - Cup is trying to make the best cup-o-joe, while Jake and Brent play Rap Band.
-*You'll see white for a couple of second because it has to load the image on the menu.*
-*Be sure to watch the credits for a little rap by Cup and Jake!*
-All critiques welcome.
- Jake & Brent (JBMedia)
Something to think about...
This Animation could be a lot funnier- but the trouble is making a comedy that caters to younger viewers as well as teens and the twentysomethings that watch this on newgrounds. I helped write this, and did some of the animation- sure we could add swearing and violence.. which would make it much more appealing- but Brent's 6 year old little brother who LOVES the shorts would probably be disappointed. As well as our parents and grandparents who watch this. Think of our target audience, then you might be a little more willing to get the jokes.
this was not very good
dood.ok to start the joke sucked.now seriously if this was supposed to be a
sit-com it would've been pretty darn good but since it was supposed to be a comedy it was terrible. the graphics and animation was great but jokes and the whole concept of trying to be funny with coffee isn't very good at all. if you want to make a good flash try making one that doesn't have coffee cups talking to dorky teemagers.
Glad you liked the animation and all- that's where the bulk of our time is spent. Next episode we'll try to incorporate some better joke writing. But the plot will always have the coffee mug. Thanks for your review though- :)
The jokes you attempted in this were not funny at all. Its like a 5 year old came up with them, or at least someone with the intellect of a 5 year old. Considering that this was supposed to be a comedy, that's weighed strongly on the score. If you really want to improve your work, get better jokes, that's the most important thing I can tell you. Because even though your art is good, it means nothing when the dialogue is so pathetic. I haven't bothered watching the other episodes since this one is likely an example of how bad they all were.
Just spend longer thinking up jokes, and then tell them to other people to see if they're truly funny. Then you can put them into flash.
If you didn't like this episode- you probably won't like the others. During our next project we will definitely take your comments into mind; Maybe I'll even PM you when we're done- so you can see if we've improved. Thanks for taking your time to review anyway... :)
Really.. I don't know what to say about this..
Probably because.. Yeah, I can't think of something.
It was.. ehm.. random? :/
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