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Salad Fingers explores his cupboard.
Hope you like it.
My thoughts on a plausible backstory: A long time ago, there was a nuclear war (dubbed the "Great War"), this was when Saladfingers was young, which is why he/she didn't go, the war ravaged the land and left grotesque mutants as the only survivors and traumatized Salad. When the bombs fell, Salad's mother was out buying jam, which is why he didn't want Penny to buy any. He/She was told to get in the "Safety Cupboard" if anything happened, but he/she was still irradiated and lost his/her hair, or perhaps they remind him of the people who died. Both hair stories would explain why he covets them, but, if the latter is used, he may think the dead people don't want him keeping their hair.
poor salad fingers...
This was a sad one, but great nonetheless.
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