Score: 7
"Improved"
date: January 23, 2008
In general, this episode was much better than the first installation of the series. The graphics were just as sharp and it lasted longer.
By adding the length, I believe you have presented this portion of your plot much more effectively to the amateur audience. The sinister, epic music complemented the archetypal "evil headquarters" set much better than the music did in the first episode.
Again, though, there were a couple of things that were detrimental to the finished piece.
Maiden6 stated "The dialogue is at times grammatically incorrect, and it is quite distracting to me."
I cannot stress the importance of proper grammar (and spelling) when acting from or writing a script. It is one of the most fundamental elements in any type of presentation. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm starting to think "PALY" is some sort of inside joke. I don't think you would fail to notice the same mistake twice, let alone release it to the public.
The voice acting also had a few flaws. I found Pirate Clock's tone to be fairly well suited, but his expression was vague and lackluster in parts. On the contrary, Sage Clock's expression was fairly acute, but I found that the voice sounded too young for his white beard.
Finally, I thought the ending was well done. This project was better than the first, but still has room for improvement.
