Score: 6
"Back to the action!"
date: October 3, 2009
So, I guess you figured yourself that the last episode had a bit too few stuff in it. Action most definitely was one it was lacking. (Though - to me - far worse was the fact that you could have told us so much of the story and didn't)
This episode - in that sense, isn't much better...
Again the opportunity to tell us something (ANYTHING) about Woody and Dennis, perhaps also about their connection to Davis, yet you don't. A few pointless lines and on to the fighting, which I guessed you would be doing from the last episode...
The fighting itself is greatly better though! Very smooth and you give off the impression of Chases new power very well. Still all the attention seems to be on him though. We don't need to hear about who he is! I understand Dennis/Davis do, but they discuss it during combat? The short pause after action would've been appropriate to use . Although the drama invoked by the scene where he is fighting and Woody talks is very well done! Commendable, epic scene!
But I shouldn't feel that this episode is just for the purpose of fighting scenes, to make up for the lack of them in the last chapter. And I do feel like that.
I am sorry if I am harsh, but let me explain why:
I am taking your story/series in the high standards. In standards of a book or TV action series even. And that's because I think it has actual potential. You have a very interesting premise here and - at points - interesting characters too. They just need more expanding. And you can give a lot of clues in short lines too. I understand flash is a hard medium to do it, but there is always room for improvement.
Good job with the chapter, overall, though!
