Some thoughts,. . .
I understand that this is part one of a undetermined number of parts flash. So, let me offer you some suggestions as to where to go with this. I read what you had to say about this piece. You don't know where you are going with this you say. Well, as a writer, I don't begin a writing project without a web or a base idea. Some general focal point to web ideas and concepts from. I will give you credit. You have talent. Your art is above average, yet your score remains average to below average because you lack substance. Instead of making another part, and making it up as you go along, perhaps you should actually write a base script to work from. Just a short story line to base this on. Of course, as you get into development, you can always alter, add, or change anything you wish. I'm not knocking your efforts, just trying to give you some direction. Overall, it was interesting, but severely lacking. I'm sure that if you watched it a few times, you would agree it needs more. Don't get me wrong, I know it takes a lot of effort to produce flash. Yet, we the viewers are subjected to these multi-part stories that cannot hold our interest. Or these test flashes that an artist will make to try out techniques. As I said, go back to your story board, write a base script, and then go from there. I'll keep an eye out for your next installment. Good luck.
Neurotically Yours,
NightSpawn