As far as falsely advertised games go, this certainly is something.
For a game called "Don't Move," one sure wonders why the whole point of the game is to move. And as far as the "mechanisms" that you can unlock go, they are abysmally bland. A meter that shows attempts. One that shows "distance," though I'm not sure what it's relative to. One for time, so you can see what you're wasting, I guess. Another for "medals" and "trophies," though how you unlock any of those is beyond me. We also have a nice little "Level" gauge, but it's beyond me what "leveling up" does for you. And then there are those coins. Oh, boy, those coins. Let me say, and I'm not the first to mentions it, but 500 coins to collect is a lot. Especially when the majority of those coins like to spawn a few pixels just out of your oh so limited reach.
The game may look cute, but that doesn't make up for a lack of substance. Overall, it was just a boring experience. Then only thing that kept me going up to the "Unlock 4 Trophies" portion was just the hope that there would be SOMETHING to do, other than run for three small repeating distances and then exploding. There's a lot that could have been done here, and instead it's just a lot of wasted effort, it feels.