Wanted me to join and kill innocent people. He (the recruiter) is going to call again tomorrow, to do a little "Over-the-phone" interview. Seeing how he has no knowledge of who i am, where i live, or any other personal information besides my name, i want to prepare for our little "chat". So, guys, what would be some fun things to tell an ARMY recruiter? Anything and everything, i want this guy to cross my name off this list for good.

"I'm gay".

And no gay jok...ahh christ...

Nevermind...

"Your gay."

Tell him that the military is cruel and dangerous. For that reason to join it you should not do.

Take my name off the list

crazyright?

Fuck you, you piece of draft dodging shit.

Go kill for your country, die for it learn for it, what ever, but theres no reason to talk shit to a guy who's just doing his job.

Just tell him the truth: you're a nerdy pimply ass piece of shit that wouldn't be able to tell his rifle end from his asshole, I'm sure he'll reject you after that.

why dont you just NOT pick up the phone?

Ask him if your juvenile male-rape charge will jeopardize your chances to serve the country.

I used to get emails from the Army because I signed up in the mall one day to get a free T-Shirt. I was badgered by recruiters for over a year before they stopped.

At 1/18/08 12:46 AM, fahrenheit wrote: Take my name off the list

crazyright?

Well i tried that, 4 months ago.

I want material that will make them say "Holy fuck...this guy is insane." *X da list*

"What's your policy on friendly fire?"

Or you could use a soundboard, that would be pretty rich.

tell him you'll join once we get out of the Middle-East and once Bush is gone.

At 1/18/08 12:47 AM, GodsSentWarrior wrote: Fuck you, you piece of draft dodging shit.

Denying army recruitment via the phone =/= draft dodging.

There generally has to be a draft in order for people to dodge it.

At 1/18/08 12:53 AM, BitchWeed wrote:

At 1/18/08 12:47 AM, GodsSentWarrior wrote: Fuck you, you piece of draft dodging shit.

Denying army recruitment via the phone =/= draft dodging.

There generally has to be a draft in order for people to dodge it.

just a term

At 1/18/08 12:56 AM, GodsSentWarrior wrote: just a term

A term that refers to ignoring/denying conscription. You can't dodge the draft if there isn't one.

Tell him you have flat feet. Seriously, it worked when they called me.

and I really have flatfeet, too

Well, this is basically the call i got earlier.

ME: Hello...?
ARMY: Morning! Is Scott there?
ME: Speaking.
ARMY: Hey! This is XXXXX from the army, what's up?
ME: Playing Halo
ARMY: Nice, good first person shooter game, you like it?
ME: It's cool.
ARMY: Well, i was wondering if you would be interested in a position in the ARMY
ME: Yeah...i got your e-mails, and that call a few months ago, I'm really not interested.
ARMY: Really? You're not?
ME: No, i just graduated from college, i'm going to be a massage therapist, and joining the ARMY would really mess up my plans.
ARMY: Oh you don't have to worry about that!
ME: . . .
ARMY: How about this Josh
ME: Scott.
ARMY: I'll give you a call tomorrow, same time?
ME: Sure.
ARMY: Awesome, have a good one!
*Click*

Join the army!
(don't be faggot)

At 1/18/08 12:58 AM, Elios wrote:

ME: No, i just graduated from college, i'm going to be a massage therapist, and joining the ARMY would really mess up my plans.
ARMY: Oh you don't have to worry about that!

Haha, play this bit up a bunch and they might leave you alone. I get a bit of that vibe just be reading how he reacted.

Take it from me... I joined the army at 18, left when i just turned 19 and was gone for 3 years... I was in the 82nd Airborne jumpin out of planes for a living lol...

anyways, the best thing to do is just waste as much time as you possibly can with him... time is soooo important for a recruiter because if they dont get there daily numbers they get fucked...

so waste as MUCH time... shoot the shit with him, pretend your interested, ask stupid questions... anything... and if you start to feel bad.. fuck him... he does not give a shit about you what-so-ever.... then at the end just tell him theres not a chance your gonna join... if they know your hopeless they'll stop...

haha, ohhhhh gotta love the recruiters... i love it when im walkin through college n they come up to me and ill pretend im interested n shit and listen to there lies and then i show them my old military id and just laugh and walk away

At 1/18/08 01:00 AM, satanbrain wrote: Join the army!
(don't be faggot)

Well that convinced me!

*runs off to enlist*

oh and for the record, they dont care if your gay... they'll just tell you its not really a big deal.... cuz your not there problem after you leave to get shipped out to basic... they told me to lie about so much shit
like past drug use, highschool stuff... run-ins with the law.. blah blah blah

At 1/18/08 01:02 AM, Timmy wrote:

At 1/18/08 01:00 AM, satanbrain wrote: Join the army!
(don't be faggot)

Well that convinced me!

*runs off to enlist*

Wait for me!

At 1/18/08 12:43 AM, Elios wrote: Wanted me to join and kill innocent people.

BECAUSE PEOPLE WHO BLOW UP INNOCENTS RAPE WEMON FORCE A BASTARDIZED FORM OF A DECENT RELIGION AND HAVE A DESIRE TO KILL SO GREAT THEY ARE WILLING TO KILL THEMSELFS TO DO IT SURE ARE INNOCENT!

HURRRRRR

At 1/18/08 12:53 AM, BitchWeed wrote:

At 1/18/08 12:47 AM, GodsSentWarrior wrote: Fuck you, you piece of draft dodging shit.

Denying army recruitment via the phone =/= draft dodging.

There generally has to be a draft in order for people to dodge it.

And yet, some people don't know....
I wonder what the recruiter's reaction will be to saying "I'm gay"...

holy shit! You're back! :D Break out the champagne and shrimp cocktails!

No disrespect to the country, or whatever. I'm just not interested in the ARMY...at all. It may appeal to certain people, like ex-cons and southerners, but getting screamed at by Gunnery Sgt. Hartmen for 18 hours a day, isn't want i want in life. I want to be a massage therapist.

Rather than take the beaten path of "No...no....no...take me offa list"
I want to do/say somthing to make this recruiter guy:
1.) Think
2.) Laugh
3.) Question his existance.

BonusStage, you scare me. GodSentWarrior, you sadden me. Homor...you're just plain weird.

At 1/18/08 01:15 AM, Elios wrote: 3.) Question his existance.

Ask him what he wanted to be before he got recruited into the army.
That should shut him up.

At 1/18/08 01:00 AM, satanbrain wrote: Join the army!
(don't be faggot)

or, you could NOT be a peice of shit conformist and tell the recruter you dont want to join and stop calling.

was this one of your immediate reactions?