I saw that film yesterday and it is positively one of the worst films ever made. Even worse the the Killer Shrews. I mean, come on, that's never gonna happen. They didn't have to make a two hour film out of it, they could do it in like 10 minutes so you don't fall asleep.
Woman: I know what will cure disease! Making huge bloodthirsty sharks will almost certanly eat us!
Scientist: Lets get to work!
Woman: We've built evil sharks, but there's something missing...I know, lets call in Samuel L. Jackson for no real reason.
Muscelsy Guy: I better get wrestling those sharks!
(Shoots a shark several times in the head. It dies.)
Scientist: I better put my arm really near it's mouth.
Shark: *Chomp*
Scientist: HOLY SHIT!
(Falls on the floor and starts rolling around like a moron. The others put him on a stetcher but then dump him in the sea.)
Shark: Quickly, chuck him at the 20 centimetre thick glass.
(Scientist hits the glass at one mile per year and it shatters.)
Muscely Dude: Now what?
Samuel L. Jackson: We're gonna have to swim through shark infested waters even though there's a exit behind me.
(Suddenly a shark jumps out of a conveniently placed pool and bites Samuel L. Jackson in half.)
Muscely Dude: That was inexpected.
Meanwhile:
Cook: Hmmm, a strange eating noise. Better go towards it.
(Huge shark appears and eats his bird.)
Cook: I better hide in the oven.
(Unfortunatly the shark spent many years as a cook and knows exactly which buttons to press.)
Cook: Don't worry, there's an axe in the oven.
(Chops his way out and blows up the shark with what appears to be a condom.)
MD: Lets climb up this ladder whilst Sharks chase us. There is no real need to do this, but hopefully it should get the adrenilime going.
(It fails).
Blond Woman: Oh no! It appears that I have broken a nail!
(In her hissy fit, she lets go and is devoured by sharks. Loser. Suddenly a door on the side of wall opens and the Cook saves them. Wait, why is there a door on a wall?)
MD: Annoying dude and I will go play with electricity underwater whilst holding our breaths for about an hour.
(They sod off for a bit while the Woman goes off on her own for no reason.)
Woman: Oh no, a shark!
(Takes off all her clothes. I'm really not sure why the taking off the clothes bit was in the film but it improved it slightly. The woman grabs electric pipe and kills the shark. She returns to the others.)
Woman: Where's annoying guy?
MD: Sharks bit him in half.
Woman: That's nice. I think we should swim to the surface.
(Pointless time wasting scene where the cook says fuck 57 times.)
Cook: Oh no! The Shark is getting away through a gap in the fence that appeared out of nowhere!
(Woman jumps into the sea and lets the shark eat her. This is suppposed to save them time but the retards waste it. MD jumps onto the sharks back.)
MD: Shoot it with the harpoon!
(Where the hell did this harpoon come from?)
(Cook shoots the harpoon but hits muscely guy. Out of nowhere there is a big explosian and it rains shark guts. Despite being in the middle of it, MD and Cook are still alive.)
MD: Humans 1, Sharks 0.
Lies make baby Jesus cry, bitch.
