New horror/drama show to fill in the gaps between seasons 1 and 2 of Skeleton Gangrape.
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Plot Symphosis:
Mutant Buffalos that can teleport attack a city in Canada and maim/impale/molest/incinerate everybody but a small group of survivors. Involves cool matrix style scenes and Eminem.
Characters
Morris Wickin
Age: 49
Lazy janitor who scrathes his ass every 5 seconds. Believes he has to stop the Buffalo because they killed a predictible family member.
Apperance: 60s reject tramp.
Paris Hilton
Age: Looks about 25, I reckon she's about 50 but has a lot of cosmetics at hand.
Slutty bimbo who is only in the show to wear tank tops and run around. Owns a lesbian dog called Tinkerbell.
Appearance: Retarded
Abinaf Crooks
Age: 30
Talentless rapper who hates Eminem and says 'Yo' so much that it's lost all meaning.
Appearance: Black dude with dreadlocks and a lot of chains.
Johnny Moron
Age: Who gives a shit, he's only in it to get killed.
Cocky bastard he thinks he can do everything. Death by anal rape is to good for him.
Appearance: Biker who looks like John Travolta, only women don't like to go near him.
Candy Thurman
Age: 23
Whiny crack whore bitch who wears lots of clothes to hide her needle scars. Eaten alive by baby Bison.
Appearance: Ugly. Nothing more to say.
Billybob Jehovahwitness
Age: 55
Crazy hobo who has sex with chickens. Carries a shotgun but no ammo. Is killed when he puts a ciggerate in his mouth the wrong way round.
Appearance: A freaky farmer like guy.
Epiosdes in Season 1
Episode 1: Rise of the Bovine
A mad scientist with a fetish for cows decides to create his own personal sex slave army. However soemthing goes wrong and they beat him to death with a smoked salmon. They turn on t.v just in time to see part of an Eminem video where he runs around dressed as superman with his backside showing. Tramitised by Emenems unfunnyness and poorly written lyrics, and the fact that they had to have sex with a little old man, they decide to try and destroy the world. The first person they meet is Morris' uncle who they impale on their horns. Then they kill everybody in the city but a small group of survivors who fight back.
Episode 2: The Warehouse
The humans try and hide in a warehouse and run around there for an hour, until they confront some Buffalo spies who followed them in. They are standing on either side of a metal bridge, the kind that you always get in a warehouse if it's needed or not. Fortunately, the humans manage to trick the dumbass Buffalos into walking on at the same time and it collapses under their weight. Abinaf nearly falls in but Morris saves him in an amazingly cool stunt which I can't be asked to think up. Suddenly an alarm goes off saying that yhey only have 10 minutes to escape, or the warehouse will implode.
Episode 3: Thumbs up, man down
Whilst trying to escape, the heros have to slide under a slowly lowering door. They have nearly made it but Johnny stops to check his ass out in a mirror and is locked in with the Buffalos. After a cool matrix style scene which involves some sort headbanging to Bohimeian Rhapsody, Johnny is anal raped to death. The others hear the orgasmic moos and know they can't save him. When they get outside they see a taxi and use it as an excuse to drive around the city ramming stuff.
Episode 4: Candies Secret
The Buffalos are chasing the taxi when they do a really cool jup scene in which they are thrown from the car but the Buffalos are set ablaze. They settle down for the night in a butchers shop and, being a sick old pervert, Billybob tries to spie on Candy while she is getting changed. He sees the needle scars and tells the others she is a druggy. She is shunned from the group. Meanwhile the Buffalos learn they can teleport and teleport right into our heros sleeping bags. They try and escape by climbing to the top of a really high building but the Buffalos are waiting. Once again they escape, this time in a conviently placed Helicopter.
Episode 5: In-flight disaster
Some Buffalos stow away and steal the helicopters battery and parachutes. Just when it begins to crash land, there is massively brilliant plot twist. The scientists ghost appears and fixes the helicopter. He don't want no badass Buffalos destroying his home. After a cool scene where they are chased through the street, the survivors are cornered.
Episode 6: The breeding grounds
They do a really big fighting scene in which 100s of Buffalos are killed with everyday items like lamp posts and condoms, but a really muscley one comes and is about to kill them. Luckly Candy appears and shoots it, saving them. But yet another Bufffalo appears and kidnaps her. They follow it to the sewers where there is a scene in which they ride down acidic sludge on a giant crocodile, but are to late to save Candy. There is a really gory bit where she is eaten alive by baby Bisons.
Episode7: The flashback one
On their way to the surface, the characters are kidnapped. This is an episode for character development so they all have flashbacks and stuff.
Morris: How he completely failed school and got a crap job.
Paris: No flashback, just scenes from her sex tape to keep the male audiences entertained.
Abinaf: Who he got so bad at rapping that audiences throw up when they heard his music.
Billybob: How his wife left him for a midwife so he went all crazy.
Then there's another fight and the heros get away.
Epsiode 8: The Buffalos powers
The Buffalos discover they can also shoot lasers with their eyes. Meanwhile, the characters realise Eminem is the secret to beating the Buffalos as it was him that turned them insane. The run to the record company and start to play Eminem real loud. Buffalos shoot their lazers through the window and scare Billybob so much that he puts his ciggerate in his mouth the wrong way round and sets himself alight. But Morris manages to play 'Lose yourself' to the whole city, making the Buffalos heads explode. However, one did not see the video because he was making popcorn at the time. The music actully makes him grow big and burn stuff down with his lasers. The guys form a plan. Abinaf runs around and distracts the buffalo, while it's chasing him Paris pulls up her tank top and the Buffalo is confused at who to look at. It trips up and Morris shoots a rocket up it's ass. Iit rains Buffalo guts and the day is saved.
Season one begins november 23.
Lies make baby Jesus cry, bitch.
