Life isn't fair.

There are so many good things in this life I will never enjoy.

Like passionate gay sex.

Right off the top, I hate the way other dudes smell, and stubble on my cheek induces severe cringe seizures which no ant-convulsive medication can shake. It probably also doesn't help I have a sensitive butthole, and not in the fun way.

Nope, I'm just not cut out for being gay.

Which makes me very sad.

I mean, there's so many amazing homos out there, and because their dating pool is 1/10th the size of the pool for straights, the chances of me getting a partner that's a considerable step up from myself is pretty high. People will put up with a whole lot of personal and physical flaws for some buttsex.

But then I'll watch straight porn, and they'll show the dick a little too much, or the dude will be all loud and won't shut the fuck up, and it ruins it for me. Goddamnit.

It's so unfair. All this hot gay sex going on, and for whatever reason I'm just too straight to enjoy it.

What do I do, newgrounds? I can't change the way God made me.

At 2/25/17 04:37 AM, FUNKbrs wrote: I hate the way other dudes smell,

The way they smell is one way to tell if you're compatible with them or not.

At 2/25/17 04:54 AM, Hacklyn wrote: You never know. Maybe a cute androgynous guy(?) might be your thing.

It always works right up until I get to the dick, especially with a good pair of fake tits.

I don't know why I just can't get over it.

I mean, I'm missing out on so much. Gay bars have the best music, the best people, the best drinks, the best drugs, but I can never really feel comfortable there.

I mean, I could get with a dude if he talked and acted as a woman, dressed as a woman, had breast implants, had his penis surgically converted into a vagina, had all facial hair permanently removed electrolytically, never told me he used to be a man, and also I can never discover in any way that he is or used to be a man, ever.

But at that point, the depressing realization hammers down on me once again:

There are people out there enjoying amazing gay sex, and I will never be one of them.

Miss me with that gay shit.

At 2/25/17 04:54 AM, Hacklyn wrote: You never know. Maybe a cute androgynous guy(?) might be your thing.

it is for me

yes this is a guy

At 2/25/17 09:38 AM, Hacklyn wrote: Why do guys have all the fun???

start going to anime conventions. there will be a ton of guys like this around there

At 2/25/17 10:13 AM, Hacklyn wrote:

At 2/25/17 09:41 AM, NightRaid-NG wrote:

At 2/25/17 09:38 AM, Hacklyn wrote: Why do guys have all the fun???

start going to anime conventions. there will be a ton of guys like this around there

Are there girls who look like guys too? *asks hopefully*

Oh yeah

At 2/25/17 10:47 AM, Hacklyn wrote:

At 2/25/17 10:16 AM, NightRaid-NG wrote: Oh yeah

Hold it. That's a dude. See the chest?

Girls can have flat chests too

I haven't done this in a long time but I used to watch gay porn because it was funny. Started with one video on efukt of a cheesy old gay porno where a weak little dude is smacked around by the guy who's gonna go and fuck him and the bottom's overacting as hell, screaming as if he's gonna from just a slap. Gay porno has a lot of funny shit like this.

no homo

At 2/25/17 10:13 AM, Hacklyn wrote:

At 2/25/17 09:41 AM, NightRaid-NG wrote:

At 2/25/17 09:38 AM, Hacklyn wrote: Why do guys have all the fun???

start going to anime conventions. there will be a ton of guys like this around there

Are there girls who look like guys too? *asks hopefully*

Google tomboy or butch. That's the female equivalent.

@FUNKbrs

Have you tried being less straight?

You know I wish I can make quality shitposts like these

Life isn't fair.
There are so many good things in this life I will never enjoy.
Like passionate gay sex.
Right off the top, I hate the way other dudes smell, and stubble on my cheek induces severe cringe seizures which no ant-convulsive medication can shake. It probably also doesn't help I have a sensitive butthole, and not in the fun way.
Nope, I'm just not cut out for being gay.
Which makes me very sad.
I mean, there's so many amazing homos out there, and because their dating pool is 1/10th the size of the pool for straights, the chances of me getting a partner that's a considerable step up from myself is pretty high. People will put up with a whole lot of personal and physical flaws for some buttsex.
But then I'll watch straight porn, and they'll show the dick a little too much, or the dude will be all loud and won't shut the fuck up, and it ruins it for me. Goddamnit.
It's so unfair. All this hot gay sex going on, and for whatever reason I'm just too straight to enjoy it.
What do I do, newgrounds? I can't change the way God made me.

Gay porn has never interested or aroused me. I'm just not turned on by the idea of two dudes doing it. I've also never been interested/aroused by transvestites or "traps." The whole concept of "traps" and being aroused by them still boggles my mind, but to each their own.

Lesbian porn is alright, even though the majority of the time the actors aren't real lesbians. I like the homemade stuff.

I don't know, porn has never really interested me that much. It's incredibly hard for me to find a video that's longer than 2 minutes that I'll watch all the way through. I mostly just enjoy looking at gifs on tumblr to find ideas I'd like to try, but even that doesn't entertain me sometimes.

I prefer the real deal.

At 3/23/17 02:00 PM, Spedmallet wrote: Life isn't fair.

The dearth of female users on NG can only have one cause:
Our lack of sexual equality in language use.

There are so many good things in this life I will never enjoy.
Like passionate gay sex.
Right off the top, I hate the way other dudes smell, and stubble on my cheek induces severe cringe seizures which no ant-convulsive medication can shake. It probably also doesn't help I have a sensitive butthole, and not in the fun way.

Policing language, as we all know, is an extremely effective and not at all intrusive way of changing how people think.

Nope, I'm just not cut out for being gay.

Some people who are wrong disagree, and think that the best way to change people's minds is with examples, logic, and objectively true facts, but if this were true, then why is that not effective?

Which makes me very sad.
I mean, there's so many amazing homos out there, and because their dating pool is 1/10th the size of the pool for straights, the chances of me getting a partner that's a considerable step up from myself is pretty high. People will put up with a whole lot of personal and physical flaws for some buttsex.

Strict policing of the language then is the only way, and there are clearly no effective alternatives.
To this end, many users pledged to do the Cunt Challenge, substituting the feminine "cunt" for male-dominant words like "dick" and "cock" when using insults for the purposes of gender equality, some pledging to say "cunt" as many as a thousand times a day.

But then I'll watch straight porn, and they'll show the dick a little too much, or the dude will be all loud and won't shut the fuck up, and it ruins it for me. Goddamnit.

Obviously the failure of this campaign has been due to not enough users actively embracing the way of the cunt.
For example, not one thread on the top page of General has "cunt" in the topic.
How will we ever achieve sexual parity in the face of such apathy?

It's so unfair. All this hot gay sex going on, and for whatever reason I'm just too straight to enjoy it.
What do I do, newgrounds? I can't change the way God made me.

Cunt is life. Believe it. Accept it. Make it part of yourself.
We can make NG the hot meat market for cheap hook ups we always dreamed it would be, but Newgrounds needs your help.
Your help to post the word "cunt" on the BBS.
Believe in the cunt, because the cunt believes in you.

At 3/23/17 03:03 PM, FUNKbrs wrote:

At 3/23/17 02:00 PM, Spedmallet wrote: Life isn't fair.

The dearth of female users on NG can only have one cause:
Our lack of sexual equality in language use.

Wait, did you just mix your other thread into this one?

At 3/23/17 03:06 PM, Mich wrote:

Wait, did you just mix your other thread int this one?

Memes are evolving in ways noone could ever predict.

How can I explain to you what I barely understand myself?

don't meme me, kplsthnx

At 3/23/17 03:11 PM, FUNKbrs wrote:

At 3/23/17 03:06 PM, Mich wrote:

Wait, did you just mix your other thread into this one?

Memes are evolving in ways noone could ever predict.

How can I explain to you what I barely understand myself?

Also, people who suffer from [memes] often don't know they suffer from it.

Just like a mental illness.

Cunt is life. Believe it. Accept it. Make it part of yourself.
We can make NG the hot meat market for cheap hook ups we always dreamed it would be, but Newgrounds needs your help.
Your help to post the word "cunt" on the BBS.
Believe in the cunt, because the cunt believes in you.

At 3/23/17 03:24 PM, Spedmallet wrote: Cunt is life. Believe it. Accept it. Make it part of yourself.
We can make NG the hot meat market for cheap hook ups we always dreamed it would be, but Newgrounds needs your help.
Your help to post the word "cunt" on the BBS.
Believe in the cunt, because the cunt believes in you.

I figured you were only addicted to feminine penis...

At 3/23/17 03:36 PM, Buppa wrote: I figured you were only addicted to feminine penis...

The dearth of female users on NG can only have one cause:
Our lack of sexual equality in language use.

At 3/23/17 04:53 PM, Spedmallet wrote:

At 3/23/17 03:36 PM, Buppa wrote: I figured you were only addicted to feminine penis...

The dearth of female users on NG can only have one cause:
Our lack of sexual equality in language use.

Are you assuming that female NG users don't have access to the same wide vocabulary as other male NG users? Sounds kinda sexist don't ya think?

At 3/23/17 04:56 PM, Buppa wrote: Are you assuming that female NG users don't have access to the same wide vocabulary as other male NG users? Sounds kinda sexist don't ya think?

Like passionate gay sex.

At 3/23/17 06:50 PM, Spedmallet wrote:

At 3/23/17 04:56 PM, Buppa wrote: Are you assuming that female NG users don't have access to the same wide vocabulary as other male NG users? Sounds kinda sexist don't ya think?

Like passionate gay sex.

Don't you trash talk gay sex... Violent sodomy is my only reason to live...
It's what made me the man I am today...

Sometimes I wish I was gay I truly despise women

At 3/24/17 01:30 AM, Piemix wrote: Sometimes I wish I was gay I truly despise women

god damn, who hurt you?