Okay, Jared Fogle is coming to your house to molest you and hurt your self-esteem.
What are the best and fastest ways to kill yourself.
You have one hour before he arrives.
Clock is ticking.
1 hour to die.
1,288 Views | 28 Replies
"Death upon death... Nothing but death in this barren land. Who can we pray to? There are only demons and fiends here."
~The Journal of a Man Who Wandered into Another World
At 9/4/16 12:54 AM, WAConline wrote: Okay, Jared Fogle is coming to your house to molest you and hurt your self-esteem.
I can videotape him in the act of doing something wrong to someone else beforehand and show the evidence to the police. If that doesn't work then I'll take him down with me.
"some people who believe they're smart do nothing but talk incessantly. if they didn't, how else would they let you know how smart they are?"
Oooh let's see..
I'd get a double barrel shotgun and blow the back of my head clean out! Heh heh yeah!
At 9/4/16 01:53 AM, MemeFiend3 wrote: Cum so much I get dehydrated and die.
You could always choke to death on a monstrously large cock. Just saying!
At 9/4/16 01:32 AM, skippuh wrote: Drink a Benadryl/bleach smoothie, lie in bed, and (hopefully) die in my sleep within an hour.
Dude, bleach is the cure for everything. Drinking it makes you immortal.
At 9/4/16 01:25 AM, 00110110 wrote: Being over 11 years old I think I'm pretty safe...
Haha nice one.
As much as I oppose of anyone giving suicide tips I would of course go for the old hose and car job to achieve a bit of Carbon monoxide poisoning. Peaceful.
[I've been wandering round but I still come back to you]
At 9/4/16 02:27 AM, Gagsy wrote: As much as I oppose of anyone giving suicide tips I would of course go for the old hose and car job to achieve a bit of Carbon monoxide poisoning. Peaceful.
thx 4 tha tip
"Death upon death... Nothing but death in this barren land. Who can we pray to? There are only demons and fiends here."
~The Journal of a Man Who Wandered into Another World
At 9/4/16 02:46 AM, TOXlCITY wrote:
thx 4 tha tip
What have I done!
[I've been wandering round but I still come back to you]
My 12 gauge would do the trick nicely (especially if I had the new hollow point slug rounds for it).
Inb4 comments saying do it anyway.
That's right I like guns and ponies. NO NEW GUN CONTROL.
Politically correct is anything that leftists believe.Politically incorrect is anything common sense.
Teacher, goth, communist, cynic, alcoholic, master swordsman, king of shitpoasts.
It's better to die together than to live alone.
Sig by Decky
My dad's a builder, so I'd go into the garage and kill myself with a hammer or something
At 9/4/16 01:32 AM, skippuh wrote: I actually met Jared Fogel IRL when I was 17.
What are the best and fastest ways to kill yourself.Drink a Benadryl/bleach smoothie, lie in bed, and (hopefully) die in my sleep within an hour.
You met him in real life. Sucks for you. O:
Did he offer you a 6 footlong sub?
At 9/4/16 07:28 AM, YellowisCOOL wrote: My dad's a builder, so I'd go into the garage and kill myself with a hammer or something
Hmm.....Nothing a coat of paint and some antibiotics can't cure.
I'd fucking pummel him into a pudgy bloody mess if he tries to do anything to me. I'm AOST trained.
waterboard myself with milk and my stretch-out nutsack
Skin him alive,do live dissection on him then kill him slowly
At 9/4/16 10:49 AM, Brandon wrote: I'd fucking pummel him into a pudgy bloody mess if he tries to do anything to me. I'm AOST trained.
Calm down Chuck Norris.
I'd probably bomb myself.
"Did I ever tell you what the definition of insanity is?
was her name tenneassi
omtish
At 9/4/16 01:03 PM, CiviLies wrote: I'd probably bomb myself.
Oooh medicare ain't covering that!
At 9/4/16 12:54 AM, WAConline wrote: What are the best and fastest ways to kill yourself.
Tape my hands to butter knives and stick them in an electrical outlet.
"It's called consolidation; strengthen governments and corporations, weaken individuals."
A truly prophetic sig...
At 9/4/16 03:00 PM, YonusBahtzee wrote:At 9/4/16 12:54 AM, WAConline wrote: What are the best and fastest ways to kill yourself.Tape my hands to butter knives and stick them in an electrical outlet.
That is creative but not quick. You see, there is a chance you will survive and that Jared will find your body and take you to the infirmary where you will be treat be 100% okay, as Jared comes in your hospital room and Gives you flowers as he drugs you and begins to mutilate your body While you are unconscious. The End.
Bad Ending.
At 9/4/16 11:58 PM, WAConline wrote: That is creative but not quick. You see, there is a chance you will survive and that Jared will find your body and take you to the infirmary where you will be treat be 100% okay, as Jared comes in your hospital room and Gives you flowers as he drugs you and begins to mutilate your body While you are unconscious. The End.
Bad Ending.
Shit. Well, I tried.
"It's called consolidation; strengthen governments and corporations, weaken individuals."
Well, he's in prison being someone's bitch, so no one has to worry.
It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.
