People always say that you should question if what you are currently doing, is bringing you closer to where you wanna be. But what about if you don't know where you wanna be? Should your whole life be about you asking yourself if what you're doing is moving you towards where you wanna be? It's just that, sometimes it seems like we forget to live in the present and just enjoy ourselves. I know I do, I feel guilty if I'm not doing something productive, and that's not good. That means I gotta ask myself why I believe being productive is as important as I'm making it out to be. Sorry about this post I'm moderately depressed and drunk. Not a good combo I know. I'm kinda lost at the moment and Newgrounds is the only place where I can be coherent and real without losing anything substantial.

I use the typical, "It could be worse" excuse.

At 6/18/16 06:58 PM, PanzerKorpse wrote: I use the typical, "It could be worse" excuse.

Thank you, this was oddly comforting. Thinking that I have so much to be happy for, seems to just make me feel guilty and worse. I checked your Bio and whether it was accurate or not. It made me feel hopeful, I also like George Carlin a lot. I appreciate you man!

At 6/18/16 07:00 PM, BonemanCharles wrote: Im very unhappy right now, the only remedy is personal achievements and praises from my hobbies.
so I try to draw and practice everyday in the hopes of my efforts paying out one day
but its all cool cause im steady on the grind, got the future on my mind, and no time to rewind.

You may be unhappy, but it seems you have acceptance in check and you have a plan. I think we all have a confidence in the fact that it will all work out some day, somehow. Even if we aren't sure how at the moment in time. Regardless, I'm gonna start focusing on how I can make other people feel good. Regardless of reason and intention I think that's a good place to start (who cares if it's selfish if it's a win win right?).

Hello, Rustyhound.

First of all, I know exactly what you're feeling, because I myself am also doing a lot of searching. What separates us, in my view, is that you appear to be uncomfortable with not knowing what kind of person you want to be. That is okay. It is good to be uncomfortable, because then you start to ask questions! I'll just offer my advice, and you are free to take from it what you will.

Asking yourself "Is this good for me?" is generally a good thing to do when you're trying to find out what kind of person you want to be. However, let's not get too caught up in questioning ourselves, at least not to point of having to calculate every action we take. No one would expect that of another person, because it's okay to be spontaneous every now and then. It's okay to let the wind carry you so long as you know that you're always the one in control of your life.

When people start to think about what kind of person they want to be, they often come across an obstacle like the one you're facing right now, and it usually goes along the lines of "Is what I'm doing right now of any value?" It's an important question to tackle, but sometimes misinterpreted. When people think of "value," they try to look at it from a multitude of angles, but they almost always tend to be external. "Will people around me value this?" "Can this help me legitimize myself to others?" These can only be important questions if you make them important. There's nothing wrong with trying to appeal to others, so long as that's what YOU want to do. Don't forget to think internally as well! "Does this make me happy?" To me, if you're happy, then you are doing something productive.

Now, I don't know what you've been doing to find the answers that you're looking for within yourself, but I must stress that in order to know what you want to be, you have to make yourself vulnerable to the people and environment around you. You will be presented with many opportunities in life to do something that might make you uneasy or unsure of yourself. These are the opportunities that you must seize. It's the only way to learn what kind of life you want to lead; by plunging yourself into a place that you've never been before.

Hope that helps in some way! Take care.

Me personally, I pump TONS of jizz.

Tons.

I'm depressed, life is great

I play a lot of video games. I chill with friends, but I avoid getting too attached to people that you'd want to fucking die if they moved on.

Go out and exercise. Ride a bike, steal a starbucks WiFi.

tl;dr

At 6/18/16 07:36 PM, FinaLee wrote: Hello, Rustyhound.

First of all, I know exactly what you're feeling, because I myself am also doing a lot of searching. What separates us, in my view, is that you appear to be uncomfortable with not knowing what kind of person you want to be. That is okay. It is good to be uncomfortable, because then you start to ask questions! I'll just offer my advice, and you are free to take from it what you will.

Asking yourself "Is this good for me?" is generally a good thing to do when you're trying to find out what kind of person you want to be. However, let's not get too caught up in questioning ourselves, at least not to point of having to calculate every action we take. No one would expect that of another person, because it's okay to be spontaneous every now and then. It's okay to let the wind carry you so long as you know that you're always the one in control of your life.

When people start to think about what kind of person they want to be, they often come across an obstacle like the one you're facing right now, and it usually goes along the lines of "Is what I'm doing right now of any value?" It's an important question to tackle, but sometimes misinterpreted. When people think of "value," they try to look at it from a multitude of angles, but they almost always tend to be external. "Will people around me value this?" "Can this help me legitimize myself to others?" These can only be important questions if you make them important. There's nothing wrong with trying to appeal to others, so long as that's what YOU want to do. Don't forget to think internally as well! "Does this make me happy?" To me, if you're happy, then you are doing something productive.

Now, I don't know what you've been doing to find the answers that you're looking for within yourself, but I must stress that in order to know what you want to be, you have to make yourself vulnerable to the people and environment around you. You will be presented with many opportunities in life to do something that might make you uneasy or unsure of yourself. These are the opportunities that you must seize. It's the only way to learn what kind of life you want to lead; by plunging yourself into a place that you've never been before.

Hope that helps in some way! Take care.

Thank you I gotta say I appreciate the detailed and insightful advice.

Despite usually being used to handling uncomfortable situations, I am uncomfortable. Probably because unlike external situations, I got a firm grasp of when it will pass and understand why it will pass. This is way more vague, less clear, too abstract. It's a downward spiral, however I am aware of what's causing this and there's some comfort in that, also hearing from other people here on Newgrounds that they find ways to stay positive helps a lot. Although it's not ideal, and I usually don't like to seek comfort by seeing people cope with their pain. I must admit it is very inspiring and it's a much needed light at the end of the tunnel. Besides I'm not in a position to be negotiating and complaining over what makes me feel good or bad. Right now, I understand a slight bit more. Most importantly the cause, there's so much information on everything especially now with the internet that's good and all. But with the current events in life and all these self improvement videos and thousands of opinions on a million different things. I tend to overthink too much, given my situation I easily obsess about stuff. This person said to do this, he said that, and she said that. It becomes too much. All the info eventually leads to pernicious thinking.

It's true as you say, external things don't solve the problem, I found that improving oneself is futile in terms of fixing what's causing these internal fires. So I gotta focus on the being.

A result of this for example, is that if I feel sorry for myself or self hatred I become guilty for doing so. It doesn't help when some of these people helping people say to never feel sorry for yourself and that it never leads to anything good. I used to never feel sorry for my self that's for sure. I hate feeling sorry for myself, I see the pattern here, but it's not so easy to fix. Though I realize it's far from impossible and I also realize that, that's where I should shift my focus to.

On of the best things to come from this situation is that I can relate to people on a far deeper level than before. I realized this when I was watching a movie with Robin Williams (Patch Adams) I felt like I could truly share his pain. Even fictional characters bare a whole new light (Batman, Spike Spiegel, Rick and Morty). I feel like writing stories again, writing my own stories with my own characters. Not to sell as a book, not to release on the internet. I won't even necessarily let anyone else read it. I have no clue where it will go or what use it will be, besides the fact that I just wanna write something.

At this current moment in time I I'm refraining from self pity. That's not to say I'm loving myself, but rather I'm at least not loathing myself. All I really know is that I feel better than total shit when I'm not judging how I feel. Simply accept it for what it is. Because in the end it doesn't really matter, depressed or not, I'm still pretty Dandy.

At 6/19/16 02:20 AM, YellowisCOOL wrote: I'm depressed, life is great

I'm not sure you are depressed in that case, maybe you are though. I don't know. I mean it sounds fucked up, but then again, maybe you just handle your shit very well. Either way you're lucky

My motto is "You can't get lost, if you don't know where you're going."

At 6/18/16 07:57 PM, Porkchop wrote: Me personally, I pump TONS of jizz.

Tons.

lmao

case of alcohol

At 6/18/16 06:58 PM, PanzerKorpse wrote: I use the typical, "It could be worse" excuse.

Given that we're already alive, it really couldn't.

At 6/19/16 12:41 PM, RocketHorse wrote: case of alcohol

Alcohol really doesn't solve my problem, it may or may not numb the pain. But it doesn't make me happy. Regardless, I don't want alcohol to be the eternal source of my happines/absence of sorrow

At 6/18/16 06:47 PM, Rustyhound wrote: People always say that you should question if what you are currently doing, is bringing you closer to where you wanna be. But what about if you don't know where you wanna be? Should your whole life be about you asking yourself if what you're doing is moving you towards where you wanna be? It's just that, sometimes it seems like we forget to live in the present and just enjoy ourselves. I know I do, I feel guilty if I'm not doing something productive, and that's not good. That means I gotta ask myself why I believe being productive is as important as I'm making it out to be. Sorry about this post I'm moderately depressed and drunk. Not a good combo I know. I'm kinda lost at the moment and Newgrounds is the only place where I can be coherent and real without losing anything substantial.

My in-experienced philosophy is no one should always be happy, people gotta do shit sometimes coz then we wouldn't get people to take our bins or make us our burgers, you just go through the motions till something sad or happy happens, which makes the happy times even more appreciated. But I guess it's also gud to have a goal to strive for WHAT DO I KNOW I'VE ONLY BEEN ALIVE FOR 17 YEARS!

I've been having trouble trying to find happiness since I was 13 it was only when I was 15 that I acknowledge that there anything serious going on with my mentality.I'd be lucky if something good lasted more then a few minutes

At 6/19/16 12:56 PM, Rustyhound wrote:

At 6/19/16 12:41 PM, RocketHorse wrote: case of alcohol

Alcohol really doesn't solve my problem, it may or may not numb the pain. But it doesn't make me happy. Regardless, I don't want alcohol to be the eternal source of my happines/absence of sorrow

I unno then

power

At 6/19/16 12:56 PM, Rustyhound wrote:

At 6/19/16 12:41 PM, RocketHorse wrote: case of alcohol

Alcohol really doesn't solve my problem, it may or may not numb the pain. But it doesn't make me happy. Regardless, I don't want alcohol to be the eternal source of my happines/absence of sorrow

Alcohol is not a solution, but neither is no alcohol, so you might as well get drunk regardless.

At 6/20/16 06:19 AM, DamnedByFate wrote:

At 6/19/16 12:56 PM, Rustyhound wrote:

At 6/19/16 12:41 PM, RocketHorse wrote: case of alcohol

Alcohol really doesn't solve my problem, it may or may not numb the pain. But it doesn't make me happy. Regardless, I don't want alcohol to be the eternal source of my happines/absence of sorrow

Alcohol is not a solution, but neither is no alcohol, so you might as well get drunk regardless.

I share your pain I really do, and I can understand why you see it that way. However...

I never settle for the easy way unless I truly believe that I'm better off with it. On another note, I find that becoming present to the moment forces me out of my own head, not thinking so much about things seems to help a lot. Now of course that's easier said than done. When you feel bad everything seems worse or more difficult regardless, when you stop feeling bad, maybe even good. Starts to seem less difficult or even easy. To help become present I find meditation works, training/physical activity or doing something dangerous/thrilling. It's physically harder for the mind in people with depression to go into a happy go lucky Hakuna Matata mindset. Likewise it's harder for people that are positive by default to stay in a depressed sad state. For example, I know that when I'm at my lowest and I try to think about positive thoughts (because people tell you it's so "easy" right) it's like trying to bench press a car. For some it can be way worse. The truth is people aren't wrong, people saying that it's so easy probably genuinely believe it's easy most of the time because they have trained their mind to think positive instead of giving in to the negative. As said before everything is better/easier/lighter when you feel good, everything is worse/difficult/heavier when you fell worse than shit.

I recommend this video to everyone. It helped me out anyway.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcrhwatDkUM