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I honestly believe that I am Jesus.

2,503 Views | 37 Replies

I honest to god believe that I am the second coming of Christ. anyone here is welcome to try and convince me otherwise.

Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-13 08:47:51


I was actually going to give a serious answer but it's not worth it.

If you were Jesus you wouldn't be on Newgrounds. That's honestly a fact.

Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-13 08:55:57


Son, what have I told you about being on this horrible site? Don't expect to be driving with your friends anytime soon. I'm thinking two millennia.


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Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-13 09:31:13


At 5/13/16 08:47 AM, BrandonIsNear wrote: I was actually going to give a serious answer but it's not worth it.

If you were Jesus you wouldn't be on Newgrounds. That's honestly a fact.

Yeah, Jesus seems like more of a 4chan guy tbh.


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Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-13 10:15:52


i honestly don't believe you honestly believe you're jesus.


"some people who believe they're smart do nothing but talk incessantly. if they didn't, how else would they let you know how smart they are?"

Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-13 10:36:11


At 5/13/16 08:47 AM, BrandonIsNear wrote: I was actually going to give a serious answer but it's not worth it.

If you were Jesus you wouldn't be on Newgrounds. That's honestly a fact.

Why not? We have @Thor, @Loki, @Satan … why not Jesus?


Teacher, goth, communist, cynic, alcoholic, master swordsman, king of shitpoasts.

It's better to die together than to live alone.

Sig by Decky

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Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-13 10:45:29


Since when did Jesus had a NG?

Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-13 11:00:25


No you're conviction in your own belief that you are Jesus is all I need. All praise donglepuss!


This is where I wrote something funny

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Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-13 16:34:26


At 5/13/16 10:36 AM, DamnedByFate wrote:
At 5/13/16 08:47 AM, BrandonIsNear wrote: I was actually going to give a serious answer but it's not worth it.

If you were Jesus you wouldn't be on Newgrounds. That's honestly a fact.
Why not? We have @Thor, @Loki, @Satan … why not Jesus?

We already DO have a @Jesus on here though.
Same with @God


Formally known as Viper50

When you get into one of these groups theres only a couple of ways you can get out. One is death. The other is mental institution.

Last.fm Youtube

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Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-13 17:43:01


Acts of the Apostles 1:11

“Men of Galilee,” they said, “why are you standing here staring into heaven? Jesus has been taken from you into heaven, but someday he will return from heaven in the same way you saw him go!”

Then again, you're probably just baiting us, and I'm probably just wasting my time.


I scream! You scream! We all scream for ice cream!

Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-13 18:17:26


I'm sorry to disappoint you, but...


A truly prophetic sig...

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Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-13 18:35:56


At 5/13/16 08:19 AM, donglepuss wrote: I honest to god believe that I am the second coming of Christ. anyone here is welcome to try and convince me otherwise.

Religion is fantasy. There is no God; Jesus was just some dude. You are also just some dude; so, you're more like the 108,000,000,000th coming of some dude. Congratulations... you're statistically irrelevant.


.

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Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-13 19:54:26


You're about as holy as God's poop (i.e. a literal holy shit)

Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-13 22:27:30


At 5/13/16 08:47 AM, BrandonIsNear wrote: I was actually going to give a serious answer but it's not worth it.

If you were Jesus you wouldn't be on Newgrounds. That's honestly a fact.

by what standards? yours?

Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-13 23:08:44


At 5/13/16 10:54 PM, Shauna wrote:
At 5/13/16 09:31 AM, Kayleeee wrote:
At 5/13/16 08:47 AM, BrandonIsNear wrote: I was actually going to give a serious answer but it's not worth it.

If you were Jesus you wouldn't be on Newgrounds. That's honestly a fact.
Yeah, Jesus seems like more of a 4chan guy tbh.
These were my thoughts exactly. He would be probably trolling /v/ or /x/ though

I've never even been on 4chan. I don't even know what any of those things are.


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Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-14 06:18:39


At 5/13/16 04:34 PM, Viper wrote: We already DO have a @Jesus on here though.
Same with @God

And they somehow never felt the need to be really active.


Teacher, goth, communist, cynic, alcoholic, master swordsman, king of shitpoasts.

It's better to die together than to live alone.

Sig by Decky

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Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-14 09:56:28


At 5/13/16 08:19 AM, donglepuss wrote: I honest to god believe that I am the second coming of Christ. anyone here is welcome to try and convince me otherwise.

Listen, Jesus, we were supposed to meet south of the border 3 days ago for the swap. I stood there like an idiot holding all these bags of parmesian cheese for days, man!

NOT COOL.

Now where's the Southern Ski Powder? YOU OWE ME, MAN.


PU PI PI PU PI PIII

PU PI PI PU PI PIII

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Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-14 15:46:47


Cunt

Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-30 11:22:40


At 5/13/16 08:19 AM, donglepuss wrote: I honest to god believe that I am the second coming of Christ. anyone here is welcome to try and convince me otherwise.

Bring my dead friend back to life.
Kill all terrorists
Prevent muderers and pedophiles from existing
Make it so animal abuse doesn't exist
Make it so domestic and every kind of abuse doesn't exist.
Stop fucking up our planet

On a joking level though give me a small loan of a million dollars

Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-30 13:48:30


You are a man, just as he was. Why not?


"خيبر خيبر يايهود جيش محمد سوف يعود"

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Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-30 15:05:29


Prove it. Turn poop into wine.

Turn that poop into wine!
Turn that poop into wine!
Turn that poop into wine!

I honestly believe that I am Jesus.


"It's called consolidation; strengthen governments and corporations, weaken individuals."

I also draw stuff. Here's some of it.

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Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-30 15:11:00


At 5/13/16 08:19 AM, donglepuss wrote: I honest to god believe that I am the second coming of Christ. anyone here is welcome to try and convince me otherwise.

whens the rapture bro? lol

Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-30 15:11:08


Good for you.


"Ya'll can kiss my ass" - James Allen "Red Dog"

Sig by illicit.

Are you bored and have nothing to do? Then click this!

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Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-30 16:11:28


At 5/13/16 10:36 AM, DamnedByFate wrote:
At 5/13/16 08:47 AM, BrandonIsNear wrote: I was actually going to give a serious answer but it's not worth it.

If you were Jesus you wouldn't be on Newgrounds. That's honestly a fact.
Why not? We have @Thor, @Loki, @Satan … why not Jesus?

I think we do have @Jesus, but that isn't your alt, OP.

Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-30 18:30:36


At 5/13/16 08:19 AM, donglepuss wrote: I honest to god believe that I am the second coming of Christ. anyone here is welcome to try and convince me otherwise.

Thinking your Jesus is common to people that are having a manic episode.


I'm Darwin7 you can keep the change

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Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-30 18:39:03


At 5/13/16 08:47 AM, BrandonIsNear wrote: I was actually going to give a serious answer but it's not worth it.

If you were Jesus you wouldn't be on Newgrounds. That's honestly a fact.

He also wouldn't have the username "donglepuss"

Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-30 20:00:03


At 5/30/16 03:05 PM, YonusBahtzee wrote: Prove it. Turn poop into wine.

Turn that poop into wine!
Turn that poop into wine!
Turn that poop into wine!

I thought this exact thing when I read the thread title


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Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-30 20:38:37


At 5/30/16 08:00 PM, larrynachos wrote:
At 5/30/16 03:05 PM, YonusBahtzee wrote: Prove it. Turn poop into wine.

Turn that poop into wine!
Turn that poop into wine!
Turn that poop into wine!
I thought this exact thing when I read the thread title

Great minds think alike.


"It's called consolidation; strengthen governments and corporations, weaken individuals."

I also draw stuff. Here's some of it.

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Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-30 20:54:00


At 5/30/16 03:05 PM, YonusBahtzee wrote: Prove it. Turn poop into wine.

Turn that poop into wine!
Turn that poop into wine!
Turn that poop into wine!

Do it OP

For my sake.


"Ya'll can kiss my ass" - James Allen "Red Dog"

Sig by illicit.

Are you bored and have nothing to do? Then click this!

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Response to I honestly believe that I am Jesus. 2016-05-30 20:56:36


At 5/30/16 08:54 PM, poopmcfarts wrote:
At 5/30/16 03:05 PM, YonusBahtzee wrote: Prove it. Turn poop into wine.

Turn that poop into wine!
Turn that poop into wine!
Turn that poop into wine!
Do it OP

For my sake.

I think it's unanimous OP. You gotta squat down, take a poop, and turn that shit into wine.


"It's called consolidation; strengthen governments and corporations, weaken individuals."

I also draw stuff. Here's some of it.

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