So theres this law in alabama about "self rape" don't really know whats it about but its pretty fucking stupid.

anyways this mother found her 15 year old son jacking off to some porn she then called 911 police came to the house arrested him and now is going or might serve 3-15 years in prison.

link

“We thought at first he was possibly intoxicated or mentally unstable, ya know, talking about how we should leave him alone and just let him watch his ‘girl on girl action’, as he said it, makes me sick! It’s a slippery slope my friend, one day it’s masturbating to porn, the next day it’s raping some innocent school girl. Thank God we got this heathen off the streets before another tragedy could have occurred.” Downey continued, “There is no better feeling than putting the real bad guys behind bars. Nothing better than that I tell ya. I know I can sleep better at night just knowing another criminal is off the streets.”

what the fuck

At 4/25/15 11:31 AM, kazumazkan wrote: alabama

There we go.

Fappy the Anti Masturbation Dolphin.

What kind of mother wants her son to go to jail?

Officer Downey

Well... that explains a lot.

All of the links are just links to the front page of various sites. Also "Paul Horner" is a name used in fake news stories, like ones revealing the supposed identity of grafitti artist "Banksy".

FAKE AND GAY

http://www.dailydot.com/esports/15-year-old-swatting-prison-sentence-hoax/

^Two seconds of research is all it took to find out the story originated from a satire site called National Report.

You know what they do to rapists in jail...

Actual rape.

At 4/25/15 11:51 AM, Scintillating wrote: FAKE AND GAY

http://www.dailydot.com/esports/15-year-old-swatting-prison-sentence-hoax/

I heard about this story a few days ago and figured it was fake...

At 4/25/15 11:51 AM, Scintillating wrote: All of the links are just links to the front page of various sites. Also "Paul Horner" is a name used in fake news stories, like ones revealing the supposed identity of grafitti artist "Banksy".

FAKE AND GAY

http://www.dailydot.com/esports/15-year-old-swatting-prison-sentence-hoax/

Well shit.

but still there are people who would want this to happen

At 4/25/15 11:51 AM, Scintillating wrote: All of the links are just links to the front page of various sites. Also "Paul Horner" is a name used in fake news stories, like ones revealing the supposed identity of grafitti artist "Banksy".

FAKE AND GAY

But what about Fappy the Dolphin?

The sad thing is even though it's fake, I can see this happening anyway.

That's Murica for you.

Oh man, he won't be masturbating where he's going! Joke's aside that is one pretty fucking stupid law yet the Alabama state doesn't surprise me. That kid was just unlucky to be the first to fall in a ridiculous trap

At 4/25/15 11:43 AM, Hoodie wrote: Just masturbate in jail, what are they gonna do?

IKR. But he shouldn't be going to jail for events that could possibly lead to rape, as it is extremely unlikely.

At 4/25/15 11:42 AM, LeeSteevens wrote: Fappy the Anti Masturbation Dolphin.

You mean Fappy the Anti Mastururbation Dolphin. I see two problems here:

#1: Don't call an anti-masturbation mascot "Fappy"
#2: Check your spelling- masturbation is correct, not mastururbation.

All this not being Clickhole or The Onion

Oookay.. I'm going to try to turn these nightmare goggles off then..

FAP THE POLICE!

I mean... fuck the police!

Haha, self rape.

I kinda wish this story was real though... would be another validation of my cynicism. But my idealism is glad it's fake. So draw.

At 4/25/15 12:11 PM, SmartyPants wrote: The sad thing is even though it's fake, I can see this happening anyway.

haha no kidding

That's Murica for you.

Alabama, home of weird shit!

"self rape"

Rape definition:

"The carnal knowledge of a person, without the consent of the victim, including instances
where the victim is incapable of giving consent because of his/her age or because of
his/her temporary or permanent mental or physical incapacity"

People need to educated to know what rape means.. Touching yourself in the privacy of your house is not rape.

Obviously fake, the only thing dumber than if this was real is OP for believing it's true.

At 4/25/15 05:57 PM, Suprememessage wrote: Obviously fake, the only thing dumber than if this was real is OP for believing it's true.

Well of course it's fake. Most likely half of the population of Alabama would be in jail since a lot of people masturbate.

At 4/25/15 11:59 AM, Bit wrote: But what about Fappy the Dolphin?

Tell Fappy to come to the Seedy Abandoned Dock 69 at 10 tonight. Tell him to come alone.

We would like to do... a ... diplomatic exchange.

At 4/25/15 08:22 PM, mysticvortex13 wrote:

At 4/25/15 05:45 PM, DoctorZero wrote: "self rape"

Rape definition:

"The carnal knowledge of a person, without the consent of the victim, including instances
where the victim is incapable of giving consent because of his/her age or because of
his/her temporary or permanent mental or physical incapacity"

People need to educated to know what rape means.. Touching yourself in the privacy of your house is not rape.

well he was 15 years old so..

if you believe in statutory rape, then you must believe he raped himself.

I don't know what you're trying to say I know what statutory rape is, but he didn't rape himself since you can't rape yourself. It's not possible.

Don't resist the flowing water for the fountain must express itself as much as the psychological profile

At 4/25/15 12:11 PM, SmartyPants wrote: That's Murica for you.

That's stereotyping entire countries for you.

curious whose the biggest wanker here, the guy, the mother or the courts, this is a very sticky situation

considering it's Alabama, i have a sneaking suspicion that the mother was jealous he wasnt wasting his man juice on her

Lol, this is fake

How could he rape HIMSELF? Could he perform um, I really should just stop right here. Anyway, I thought this would be about somebody masturbating in public. Now, THAT would be something that would deserve a jail sentence.