Well, lets see... how to start.
Uh... Hi! I guess.
Thanks Newgrounds for dragging me back in, not so kicking and screaming, to my most favorite website of all time.
I've joined a few times over the years, different profile names and stuff though, but its still me.

My god how time flies eh?
Lots of things have changed over the years. The colourful new backgrounds, the content and quality of the games and animation... the rating system...
But one thing that hasn't changed is the amazing "welcome home" feeling Newgrounds has always had.

Ah, I still remember the god ol' days of the joystick and one big red button. those old Atari games like haunted house, moon patrol, pac-man and pitfall. The time when the internet barely existed (if at all). And now look how fare we've come.

what the fuck man!?!?!?
What the hell happened to us dude?
I'm 30 fucking years old already?!?!? I've got a 7 month old son now, for christ sakes!

Now Newgrounds is my in-between "Mommy's still sleeping, so shut up and drink this bottle, while you and daddy watch these pretty colours cuz the coffee's still brewing after the only 4 hours of sleep i get each night because you wake me up with your fucking screaming" and "Shut the fuck up and watch the same cartoon you've watched more times than I can count, though the words and songs are permanently burnt into my near surrendering mind. And don't you dare wake your mother by screaming cuz this is the only chance I get to escape this screaming baby shitty diaper nightmare."

A gamer since birth, i have been...loyal forever to my little pixel friends who's only desire's been my escape from reality.
And now, my little colourful pixel buddies are calling themselves, "classic" and "retro"

up your's man!

Thank you Newgrounds...for making me feel....
old....

but you know what?
don't ever stop.
and with your wonderfully slick, beautifully colourful, amazingly addictive awesomeness of animation and games...
I can see a new little Newgrounder being magnificently addicted as well in the near future.

Rock on.

Cork.

deep

At 4/9/14 11:33 AM, Kogey wrote: deep

thanks

At 4/9/14 11:34 AM, Entice wrote: Tell us of the olden times

what would you like to know? How 2 tennis balls in a nylon stocking make a perfect bola for power lines?

At 4/9/14 11:39 AM, Satan wrote: What was your old username, OP?

used to be just plane old

Cork

whether it still exists or not I dunno.
forgotten the password anyways.

guess the tag's gotta evolve too over time.

as for stories of "olden" times, I really wouldn't know where to start.
but I do remember having to un-plug the tv after donkey kong, because if you turned it off with the knob (omg i am old) with the split wiring, you would have to fiddle with the fucking thing for hours to get it back on again.
lost plenty of valuable gaming time to ignorant friends that way. lol
I still laugh when i remember the screams of "NOOOOO!!!!!" when visitors would touch the tv.

At 4/9/14 11:41 AM, Corkige wrote:

Cork

whether it still exists or not I dunno.
forgotten the password anyways.

Are these your movies?

At 4/9/14 12:06 PM, Radaketor wrote:

At 4/9/14 11:41 AM, Corkige wrote:

Cork

whether it still exists or not I dunno.
forgotten the password anyways.

Are these your movies?

I'm gonna have to say no.
I've never uploaded or created anything on newgrounds.
I wouldn't mind taking a crack at it someday though

At 4/9/14 12:10 PM, Corkige wrote: I'm gonna have to say no.
I've never uploaded or created anything on newgrounds.
I wouldn't mind taking a crack at it someday though

Huh, weird, it's from a guy called Cork so i thought it was made by you.

You are an old man and a fool!

At 4/9/14 12:26 PM, Darthdenim wrote: You are an old man and a fool!

I'm a fool? you're the dirty ol' twat who just said some teen in a darth vader helmet and panties was your dream girl....
sure you're not gay?

At 4/9/14 12:23 PM, Radaketor wrote:

At 4/9/14 12:10 PM, Corkige wrote: I'm gonna have to say no.
I've never uploaded or created anything on newgrounds.
I wouldn't mind taking a crack at it someday though

Huh, weird, it's from a guy called Cork so i thought it was made by you.

funny... I didn't see that anywhere...
and what are you doing, looking at stuff like that for anyway???
3 dicks in one ass? thats pretty faggy, but whatever floats your boat guy.

Hate to burst your bubble, man, but you aint exactly the oldest on this site. Me and gamejunkie got you beat by a lot more years (GJ is 45 for cryin out loud).

At 4/10/14 06:23 AM, Corkige wrote: funny... I didn't see that anywhere...
and what are you doing, looking at stuff like that for anyway???
3 dicks in one ass? thats pretty faggy, but whatever floats your boat guy.

I looked for your old account and this came up.

At 4/10/14 07:22 AM, Radaketor wrote:

At 4/10/14 06:23 AM, Corkige wrote: funny... I didn't see that anywhere...
and what are you doing, looking at stuff like that for anyway???
3 dicks in one ass? thats pretty faggy, but whatever floats your boat guy.

I looked for your old account and this came up.

The only thing more disturbing than his movies was this:

At 4/10/14 07:28 AM, VJF wrote: The only thing more disturbing than his movies was this:

Sounds fun! Let's click it!

At 4/10/14 07:33 AM, Radaketor wrote:

At 4/10/14 07:28 AM, VJF wrote: The only thing more disturbing than his movies was this:

Sounds fun! Let's click it!

What has been seen cannot be unseen. Always keep that in mind before you click anything.

Learned that the hard way.

At 4/10/14 06:56 AM, VJF wrote: Hate to burst your bubble, man, but you aint exactly the oldest on this site. Me and gamejunkie got you beat by a lot more years (GJ is 45 for cryin out loud).

Wait. How old are you? Because I know VicariousE isn't a whole lot younger that gamejunkie.

At 4/10/14 12:07 PM, Viper wrote:

At 4/10/14 06:56 AM, VJF wrote: Hate to burst your bubble, man, but you aint exactly the oldest on this site. Me and gamejunkie got you beat by a lot more years (GJ is 45 for cryin out loud).

Wait. How old are you? Because I know VicariousE isn't a whole lot younger that gamejunkie.

Let's just say I'm an early, early 80's baby and leave it at that. Probably a little younger than VicariousE, but still old enough to remember/have Atari when it was new, watched new movies on Betamax and VHS, and remember cartoons like The Mr. T Show and Dennis the Menace.

Hey you...
Putting one sentence a line is my thing.
Stop it, that's my thing.
On another note, being "retro" isn't a bad thing.

At 4/10/14 02:43 PM, Schizo-Sephy wrote: Hey you...
Putting one sentence a line is my thing.
Stop it, that's my thing.
On another note, being "retro" isn't a bad thing.

guess its our thing now. lol
but nah, I wasn't really implying that it was a bad thing, just surprised how fast the last 15 years went.
just trying to lighten up things for people in a similar (or not) situation like mine.

I'm sure there are some notably older than I, with way more experience and better stories.
That and seeing this new wave of pixely games reminds me of all the old ones that had nearly no story and were more about scoring points than medals or anything.

At 4/10/14 12:28 PM, VJF wrote: Let's just say I'm an early, early 80's baby and leave it at that.

Ah okay. So then you'd be in what, your mid to late 30s then?

Probably a little younger than VicariousE, but still old enough to remember/have Atari when it was new, watched new movies on Betamax and VHS, and remember cartoons like The Mr. T Show and Dennis the Menace.

Well Steve is turning 42 this year so....yeah.....
I'm nowhere near old enough to remember when Atari was new. I was around when the PS1, Atari Jaguar, and Sega Saturn were new.

If you're the Cork I know, you'd probably know who I am.
Perhaps not...

Why do you keep making new accounts? Can't remember your old password?

At 4/10/14 08:17 PM, Viper wrote:

At 4/10/14 12:28 PM, VJF wrote: Let's just say I'm an early, early 80's baby and leave it at that.

Ah okay. So then you'd be in what, your mid to late 30s then?

You got it. Little embarrassing but what can I say? Newgrounds is an awesome site, and attracts people of all ages.

Probably a little younger than VicariousE, but still old enough to remember/have Atari when it was new, watched new movies on Betamax and VHS, and remember cartoons like The Mr. T Show and Dennis the Menace.

Well Steve is turning 42 this year so....yeah.....
I'm nowhere near old enough to remember when Atari was new. I was around when the PS1, Atari Jaguar, and Sega Saturn were new.

Wow. That made me feel really old just now. I feel like I need to wrap myself up in bandages and bury myself in a sarcophagus, feeling this ancient.

And I thought I had it bad turning 26 this year. OP should buy himself a midlife crisis-mobile godamn.

Bro if you're only 30 years old and you remember playing Atari then you always been retro.

At 4/10/14 08:54 PM, VJF wrote: You got it. Little embarrassing but what can I say? Newgrounds is an awesome site, and attracts people of all ages.

Ah theres nothing to be embarased about. Newgrounds is pretty awesome.

Wow. That made me feel really old just now. I feel like I need to wrap myself up in bandages and bury myself in a sarcophagus, feeling this ancient.

Oh.....I'm sorry ._.

At 4/10/14 11:17 PM, Viper wrote:

At 4/10/14 08:54 PM, VJF wrote: Wow. That made me feel really old just now. I feel like I need to wrap myself up in bandages and bury myself in a sarcophagus, feeling this ancient.

Oh.....I'm sorry ._.

It's all good. I just hope I age gracefully, and don't die looking like this:

At 4/10/14 11:57 PM, VJF wrote: It's all good. I just hope I age gracefully, and don't die looking like this:

I don't think anybody wants to die looking like....that.

At 4/11/14 01:25 AM, Viper wrote:

At 4/10/14 11:57 PM, VJF wrote: It's all good. I just hope I age gracefully, and don't die looking like this:

I don't think anybody wants to die looking like....that.

You really have to feel sorry for his son.