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A Fiction About The Ngpd

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A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 6th, 2013 @ 11:17 PM Reply

I've started writing a tale revolving around a fictional person's time in the Newgrounds Police Department. Though the story isn't real, some names used will refer to actual NG members (never in a hateful fassion though). In this work I have imagined Newgrounds as a cybermetropolis (a city in the cyber space world) and three groups that I plan to feature are the NGPD, the Elite Guard, and the NG Mafia. I suppose one might think of this story as a science-fictiony version of one of those cool old cops and mob movies. What do the rest of you think? Would it make for an interesting read?


Cybercity Newgrounds: A Cop's Tale
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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 6th, 2013 @ 11:22 PM Reply

The concept sounds interesting enough.
I'd give it a read.


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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 6th, 2013 @ 11:27 PM Reply

At 2/6/13 11:22 PM, zag wrote: The concept sounds interesting enough.
I'd give it a read.

Thanks Zag, I appreciate the support. Hopefully there will be more people who feel the same way.


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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 6th, 2013 @ 11:45 PM Reply

Sounds like a mix of Mafia II, Deus Ex, and Newgrounds. I would love to read that!


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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 7th, 2013 @ 12:03 AM Reply

At 2/6/13 11:45 PM, J-Rex wrote: Sounds like a mix of Mafia II, Deus Ex, and Newgrounds. I would love to read that!

Thanks J-Rex, I'm glad you approve. I researched both of those games and I have to say, you pretty much hit the nail on the head! Though I can't promise the plot going as deep as the plots go in either game, I will still try to make it very compelling. But hey, who's to say the story won't take on a life of its own? I'm only in the beginning and still trying to figure out how the city will work. Deeper plot possibilities may reveal themselves to me as I delve in further.


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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 7th, 2013 @ 07:17 PM Reply

It is a very good concept. Write it, I'm getting antsy.

)
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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 7th, 2013 @ 07:42 PM Reply

At 2/7/13 07:17 PM, KnightOnTheSun wrote: It is a very good concept. Write it, I'm getting antsy.

)

I appreciate your enthusiasm. Alright, magic number 3 has been reached. The first installment will be here shortly. Oh and welcome to Newgrounds!


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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 7th, 2013 @ 07:59 PM Reply

Cybercity Newgrounds: A Cop's Tale

Delinquent Days

It was a splendid day in the cybermetropolis Newgrounds for the day's expected proceedings. A man patiently sat in the waiting room of Police Headquarters collecting his thoughts. His long awaited day had finally arrived. Today would be a landmark achievement of his noble career. For years Police Captain Logan Valor had dutifully served the Newgrounds Police Department (NGPD) in the ongoing mission to regulate Portal flow and maintain public safety. Born and raised in West District, he naturally began his time in the force serving the west branch. Over the course of his career he had acquired so much favorable attention that he was offered a position in Central after his promotion to âEUoeCaptainâEU, which he readily accepted.

Logan hadnâEUTMt been able to sleep the night before. The news of his ascension today had excited him beyond the possibility of rest. Needless to say, he was quite drowsy as he now sat in a comfortable chair in the quiet room. He began reminiscing about his past history with the NGPD and soon his own thoughts lulled him into a sleep.

. . .

It was twelve oâEUTMclock in the morning and a rebellious Logan Valor was out and up to no good as usual. He enjoyed the risk and rush from the possibility of getting caught in the illegal acts that had become his pastime. Though it hadnâEUTMt happened yet, on this side of the city, most cops and civilians alike knew he was a troublemaker. Fed up with the restrictions of learning institutions, he dropped out of high school and became a street-roaming punk. To keep his parents in the dark, he would still leave in the morning and burn any letters sent home from school. For a while it worked. Occasionally while wandering the streets, Logan would come across someone in need of odd-job service. He would always accept the work to pocket money for feeding himself. He knew his parents would eventually find out what heâEUTMd done, and he felt less guilty about his decision knowing that his mom and dad werenâEUTMt working to feed a failure son. Though most people of West Newgrounds didnâEUTMt hold Logan in very high esteem, the few for whom he did favors maintained the opinion that he was a good kid at heart.

Tonight Logan was going to sneak into the West Import Yard. This was his boldest move yet. While he could face penalties of curfew violation for walking the streets at night at his age, the amount of street patrol was always sparse in comparison to the amount of patrol in the import yards. This place was so vital to Newgrounds that the city could not afford negligence in its security or import examination, though try as city officials might, there always seemed to be an imbalance in the police force between the five districts. Though Logan didnâEUTMt know it, the west and south districts were lacking in enforcement.

He had grown tired of graffiti, hopping roofs, and secretly trespassing onto private property to bask in the ineffectiveness of one or two security guards. Logan wanted a challenge, a real test of stealth to reignite the rush that made him feel alive. He would attempt to get from one end of the massive yard (in which the combination of eyes and video cameras left very few blind spots) to the other and possibly steal something along the way to serve as a trophy for a successful conquest.

Earlier that day he had done what recon was possible. From outside the ten foot high chain link fence (crowned by three rows of barbed wire) that marked the facilityâEUTMs perimeter, Logan managed to locate every visible video camera using his grandfatherâEUTMs old binoculars from his days in the Elite Guard, and mapped them out accordingly. He spent the rest of the daylight patiently noting several patterns: paths taken by police inspectors, times between shift changes in portal security and which certified import tanks were replaced with new tanks and when. He spent the final hours going over his notes and maps, and determined that the cycles he had observed for the twenty-four hour import yard should all resynchronize with completion around 12am and so that would be the ideal time to make his move. Logan also realized that, despite the several opportunities presented by standing structures to hop the fence, there was nowhere he could do so without great risk of being seen. So he resolved to cut the fence, and when midnight rolled around, he did just that in two spots hidden from cameras and eyes.

It never occurred to Logan that for his simple trespassing adventure, he had put in the amount of planning needed to work a heist. Unexpectedly, the planning had turned out to be quite an enjoyable part of the experience. He derived pleasure from knowing that all of his efforts would pay off in his success.

He crouched into position at the hidden hole in the fence as his digital watched closed in on 12am. With him he had his backpack void of everything except his plans, maps, and a flashlight. Should anything unexpected come up, having these would allow Logan makeshift a backup plan if he found a safe place to stay for a prolonged period of time. He also took with him a crowbar

Beep. Time to begin.

END CHAPTER 1

comments desired.


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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 7th, 2013 @ 08:14 PM Reply

Cybercity Newgrounds: A Cop's Tale

Delinquent Days

It was a splendid day in the cybermetropolis Newgrounds for the day's expected proceedings. A man patiently sat in the waiting room of Police Headquarters collecting his thoughts. His long awaited day had finally arrived. Today would be a landmark achievement of his noble career. For years Police Captain Logan Valor had dutifully served the Newgrounds Police Department (NGPD) in the ongoing mission to regulate Portal flow and maintain public safety. Born and raised in West District, he naturally began his time in the force serving the west branch. Over the course of his career he had acquired so much favorable attention that he was offered a position in Central after his promotion to "Captain", which he readily accepted.

Logan hadn't been able to sleep the night before. The news of his ascension today had excited him beyond the possibility of rest. Needless to say, he was quite drowsy as he now sat in a comfortable chair in the quiet room. He began reminiscing about his past history with the NGPD and soon his own thoughts lulled him into a sleep.

. . .

It was twelve o'clock in the morning and a rebellious Logan Valor was out and up to no good as usual. He enjoyed the risk and rush from the possibility of getting caught in the illegal acts that had become his pastime. Though it hadn't happened yet, on this side of the city, most cops and civilians alike knew he was a troublemaker. Fed up with the restrictions of learning institutions, he dropped out of high school and became a street-roaming punk. To keep his parents in the dark, he would still leave in the morning and burn any letters sent home from school. For a while it worked. Occasionally while wandering the streets, Logan would come across someone in need of odd-job service. He would always accept the work to pocket money for feeding himself. He knew his parents would eventually find out what he'd done, and he felt less guilty about his decision knowing that his mom and dad weren't working to feed a failure son. Though most people of West Newgrounds didn't hold Logan in very high esteem, the few for whom he did favors maintained the opinion that he was a good kid at heart.

Tonight Logan was going to sneak into the West Import Yard. This was his boldest move yet. While he could face penalties of curfew violation for walking the streets at night at his age, the amount of street patrol was always sparse in comparison to the amount of patrol in the import yards. This place was so vital to Newgrounds that the city could not afford negligence in its security or import examination, though try as city officials might, there always seemed to be an imbalance in the police force between the five districts. Though Logan didn't know it, the west and south districts were lacking in enforcement.

He had grown tired of graffiti, hopping roofs, and secretly trespassing onto private property to bask in the ineffectiveness of one or two security guards. Logan wanted a challenge, a real test of stealth to reignite the rush that made him feel alive. He would attempt to get from one end of the massive yard (in which the combination of eyes and video cameras left very few blind spots) to the other and possibly steal something along the way to serve as a trophy for a successful conquest.

Earlier that day he had done what recon was possible. From outside the ten foot high chain link fence (crowned by three rows of barbed wire) that marked the facility's perimeter, Logan managed to locate every visible video camera using his grandfather's old binoculars from his days in the Elite Guard, and mapped them out accordingly. He spent the rest of the daylight patiently noting several patterns: paths taken by police inspectors, times between shift changes in portal security and which certified import tanks were replaced with new tanks and when. He spent the final hours going over his notes and maps, and determined that the cycles he had observed for the twenty-four hour import yard should all resynchronize with completion around 12am and so that would be the ideal time to make his move. Logan also realized that, despite the several opportunities presented by standing structures to hop the fence, there was nowhere he could do so without great risk of being seen. So he resolved to cut the fence, and when midnight rolled around, he did just that in two spots hidden from cameras and eyes.

It never occurred to Logan that for his simple trespassing adventure, he had put in the amount of planning needed to work a heist. Unexpectedly, the planning had turned out to be quite an enjoyable part of the experience. He derived pleasure from knowing that all of his efforts would pay off in his success.

He crouched into position at the hidden hole in the fence as his digital watched closed in on 12am. With him he had his backpack void of everything except his plans, maps, and a flashlight. Should anything unexpected come up, having these would allow Logan makeshift a backup plan if he found a safe place to stay for a prolonged period of time. He also took with him a crowbar

Beep. Time to begin.

END CHAPTER 1

comments desired.

*Hopefully all the formatting issues that occured when I transfered the text here from word have been fixed. It's gonna suck if I have to deal with that every time I want to make an entry this way. I anyone knows a way around this problem, I'm all ears.*


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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 7th, 2013 @ 08:15 PM Reply

At 2/7/13 07:42 PM, silverspecks wrote:
I appreciate your enthusiasm. Alright, magic number 3 has been reached. The first installment will be here shortly. Oh and welcome to Newgrounds!

Thanks! I've been here for years but decided I wanted a new name. Looking forward to the first instalment.

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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 7th, 2013 @ 08:20 PM Reply

At 2/7/13 08:15 PM, KnightOnTheSun wrote:

Thanks! I've been here for years but decided I wanted a new name. Looking forward to the first instalment.

Oh alright, I gotcha. Well it's here, u must've just missed it. I look forward to hearing your feedback.


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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 7th, 2013 @ 10:40 PM Reply

I would read it if you make me lead character. loljk A minor cameo would be great.

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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 7th, 2013 @ 10:43 PM Reply

I like it. The main character is cool and Newgrounds as a city works well, now that you have it in writing. It reminds me of Deus Ex and Blade Runner.

A job well done, sir! Proceed with chapter 2!

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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 7th, 2013 @ 11:13 PM Reply

At 2/7/13 10:43 PM, KnightOnTheSun wrote: I like it. The main character is cool and Newgrounds as a city works well, now that you have it in writing. It reminds me of Deus Ex and Blade Runner.

A job well done, sir! Proceed with chapter 2!

Lol J-Rex said my story sounded like a mix of Deus Ex and Mafia II. Maybe I should consider playing Deus Ex.


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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 8th, 2013 @ 12:07 AM Reply

At 2/7/13 11:13 PM, silverspecks wrote:
Lol J-Rex said my story sounded like a mix of Deus Ex and Mafia II. Maybe I should consider playing Deus Ex.

Go for it; they're pretty good games. The newest one, Deus Ex: Human Revolution, has a yellowish tint to the whole game which is what I picture the Newgrounds city looking like. Cool stuff, dude.

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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 8th, 2013 @ 12:51 AM Reply

At 2/8/13 12:07 AM, KnightOnTheSun wrote: Go for it; they're pretty good games. The newest one, Deus Ex: Human Revolution, has a yellowish tint to the whole game which is what I picture the Newgrounds city looking like. Cool stuff, dude.

Maybe I should make an illustration of cybercity Newgrounds. I've never done a cityscape before, but it might be fun. Of course that's less time I'd be spending on the story.


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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 8th, 2013 @ 07:04 AM Reply

Maybe he should steal garden flamingo. for a touch of humor.


good luck.

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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 8th, 2013 @ 01:59 PM Reply

At 2/7/13 10:40 PM, CaptainCornhole wrote: I would read it if you make me lead character. loljk A minor cameo would be great.

I'm surprised I didn't see your post. I'd be willing to do a cameo, but perhaps you could give me a different name to use. No offense, but "Cornhole" would sound like an impossibly silly last name.


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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 8th, 2013 @ 02:04 PM Reply

At 2/8/13 01:59 PM, silverspecks wrote:
At 2/7/13 10:40 PM, CaptainCornhole wrote: I would read it if you make me lead character. loljk A minor cameo would be great.
I'm surprised I didn't see your post. I'd be willing to do a cameo, but perhaps you could give me a different name to use. No offense, but "Cornhole" would sound like an impossibly silly last name.

Maybe a female name that fits your user icon. She looks like she would fit right in at cybercity Newgrounds.


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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 10th, 2013 @ 11:07 AM Reply

At 2/8/13 12:51 AM, silverspecks wrote:
Maybe I should make an illustration of cybercity Newgrounds. I've never done a cityscape before, but it might be fun. Of course that's less time I'd be spending on the story.

You should do it. It may give you more ideas for the story during and after illustrating.

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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 14th, 2013 @ 04:29 PM Reply

Cybercity Newgrounds: A Cop's Tale

Spotted

First he pushed his pack through the hole, then he army crawled through himself. He donned the pack and began to stealth his way through the invisible maze laid out before his mind's eye. He was determined not to let the cameras catch even a foot. The next twenty minutes were filled with hugging along import tank walls, crawling under bases that supported the tanks, and sprinting to the next hiding spot behind turned backs. Thank goodness the ground was almost completely void of loose rocks. The entire time his heart raced and his senses were heightened to impressive levels. What a thrill!

Logan was halfway through the yard when his plan hit a snag. While hiding under a support base, an inspector was standing with her back against a tank one row over. She was facing his direction having a cigarette. A number of distasteful words voiced in his head. This woman was supposed to be evaluating that tank with her back to him. He wouldn't be able to move until she did so. And if she didn't do it soon, he would have to backtrack and take a different route beforeâEU¦ too late. Another inspector showed up and began working on the row of tanks behind him effectively boxing Logan in. He was trapped. He'd lost his opportunity to progress on either his primary or secondary path and was now unsure of what course of action to take. But it was for this reason that Logan brought his plans. However it was too dark for him to read the paper, and he couldn't use the flashlight as the shine under the tank would probably be visible to the inspectors. As he was mentally experimenting with ways to limit the light's shine, an irregularity in the texture of the tank's bottom caught his eye. He squinted up at it and realized that it was a hatch (most likely for an emergency). He crawled to it praying it wouldn't be rusty or stuck. To Logan's relief the handle slid out quietly. He eased the hatch door down and slid himself up into the tank's pitch dark interior making almost no sound at all.

He turned on his flashlight to get a sense of his surroundings; any stray objects could be a tripping hazard. The tank was only half filled with assorted crates so there was room to move around. He pulled out the papers and laid them atop a crate, but after a few moments' consideration, Logan decided this to be an ample opportunity to "secure" a memento. He fished the crowbar from his pack and eyed the crates. The lids of all the large ones were secured via padlock but the smaller ones were nailed shut. He proceeded to pry the lid off the smallest container and was eventually greeted with the sight of half a dozen bottles of very high-end liquor. Had Logan been stealing with plans of reselling his bounty, he might have been interested in the beverages. Only able to see the tops, he questioned their size with interest. He pushed his hand down through the hay that cushioned the bottles from each other. He reached the bottom, but instead of feeling the wood of the crate, he felt plastic. It shifted around and felt flat in his grip. He pulled it out and shined his light to it. It was a perfectly forged NGPD ID card. The face didn't look too trust worthy though (an ironic thought coming from someone in his position). Logan was no detective, but he could still deduce that if this was hiding in a crate in an import tank, it probably wasn't legal and therefore wouldn't be missed by the city if it disappeared. He reached back in and found several more. When he was sure there were no more, he replaced the hay to make the crate look undisturbed. He closed the lid and used his body weight to push the nails back into their holes. After putting a total of ten cards into his bag, he returned to his maps and plans.

A few minutes later Logan checked his watch. In just a short while his tank was scheduled to be assessed. If he went back to hiding under the support base the moment the inspector opened and entered the tank, he'd have the perfect opportunity to begin his escape to the other end of the yard.

Logan crouched in wait by the emergency hatch. He couldn't lock it from the inside so he had to hold it closed. His cover would be blown if the inspector decided to glance under the tank before assessing its contents. His watch read "1:45am" when he first heard the footsteps. A moment later, as the bars began shifting on the tank's doors, Logan slid himself out the bottom and locked the hatch door back in place. He watched the feet step up into the tank and then he made his move.

(continued)


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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 14th, 2013 @ 04:38 PM Reply

. . .

In the west import yard's surveillance room two portal security guards were busy chatting and neglecting their screens. This was noticed by the man who walked by their open door. He entered intent on banging some heads (metaphorically speaking). The two members of security snapped out of their laugh upon recognizing who he was. If orange skin, hair, and human-fox hybrid ears didn't immediately define him, his uniform sure as hell did the job.

"Director Prower, what a surprise!" one said as they stood to salute.

"No, it really isn't." the uniformed man responded through his calm facade. Unit Ops. Director T. Prower was performing his annual check-in on the NGPD branches. He was second in command only to the aging Commissioner Crawford, and thusly garnered much respect.

"Perhaps one of you could enlighten me as to what topic is so important that it supersedes maintaining vigilance over the yards." Both sets of eyes looked at the floor. "I'm waiting," he continued rhetorically. But upon hearing himself say this, he felt like a hypocrite. During his time in lower ranks Prower hated being talked to the way he was now addressing these guards.

"God the pressure of evals must be getting to me," he muttered. âEUoeLook fellas,âEU he addressed the pair again. "I apologize, my reaction was unwarranted. I know how tedious this job can get. Years ago I was doing this myself. But it is imperative that we never relax in the yard's security. If anyone ever found a way through the network of cameras and eyes, it is vital that we catch them the first- what the hell was that?" On one of the screens behind the guards, Prower had witnessed some abnormal movement. He pushed past them and began working with a keyboard. He pulled up the playback options and backed up the recording to the point of interest. He began the playback and watched as an unknown person ducked out from under storage tank row R and sprinted into hiding under row S in just under 3 seconds. Logan had been caught by one of two cameras he never could have seen from the outside.

"Well this is interesting," Prower began evilly. "It must have been quite the conversation for you both to allow this person to slip through the complex right under your noses."

Fearing their jobs were at stake, one of the guards found the courage to speak up. "Director Prower, it is not what you think. I admit we were neglecting the screens with our talk, but we only started doing so one minute ago. Our entire shift prior, we watched the screens and never saw him."

"Is that so?" Prower returned the screen to watch mode. "That would mean this trespasser knows the position of nearly every camera out there." The three of them watched the next screen as Logan made his way into an off-camera hiding spot between two closely placed storage tanks in row T.

"He has a pack," observed the silent guard. "He may have stolen something. I'll alert the inspectors."

"Hang on." Prower grabbed the guard's wrist as he reached for the radio. "I want to see how he does." Several minutes went by without a sight of Logan.

"I know this is obvious sir, but we've lost all sight of the trespasser. He could be anywhere"

"This guy is something else." Prower wore a toothy grin. "He's heading north and judging by his progression rate, I estimate him to be at row W now. I'll send out the alert myself."

Prower held the radio to his mouth. "This is Unit Ops. Dir. Prower. We have a bogie of unknown location heading north. Yard forces, be ready to receive the bogie beyond row Z but keep yourselves unseen. Over."

END CHAPTER 2

comments desired.

*Sorry this update took so long. It was only just yesterday that I got more of the medication that helps me think better. Also I was having problems with the amount of characters. After cutting some content, it told me that I still had like 22 characters remaining. But when I tried submit, I kept getting a message saying that I had exceeded the length. So I settled for dividing the chapter into two submissions. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I would love to read any feedback. The next one might also be a while cause I got paper due dates coming up.


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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 19th, 2013 @ 12:19 PM Reply

I want to share my vision of Cybercity Newgrounds with the rest of you. I feel it would aid any of my readers in "seeing" the story if they had an idea of what the city looked like. I spent many hours recently creating the basic layout of the residential and heavy industry level. There are no buildings in the pic, but I think it's worthwhile seeing the city without them because when they get added alot of the ground details will be covered up. I'll post a smaller version below. For a closer look, here's a link. If it doesn't work you can access it from my user page. I have yet to be scouted. What do you guys think?

A Fiction About The Ngpd


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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 19th, 2013 @ 07:09 PM Reply

Hey,
I'm loving your idea to base your world on Newgrounds. And from reading i can see so much potential and direction that you could take your story, so i definately look forward to reading more.
I think you have a great way of describing what is actually happening. I can paint that picture in my head. Though i think more description as to the enviroment etc would help bring it out even more.
It's cool how you're illustrating your storys also, i've found myself doing the same here and there. ^^ I only hope that what you draw becomes the same as how i imagined it when reading. THEN you know you are doing a great job of description.

Keep it up!

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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 19th, 2013 @ 07:34 PM Reply

At 2/19/13 07:09 PM, ChiiFace wrote: Hey,
I'm loving your idea to base your world on Newgrounds. And from reading i can see so much potential and direction that you could take your story, so i definately look forward to reading more.
I think you have a great way of describing what is actually happening. I can paint that picture in my head. Though i think more description as to the enviroment etc would help bring it out even more.
It's cool how you're illustrating your storys also, i've found myself doing the same here and there. ^^ I only hope that what you draw becomes the same as how i imagined it when reading. THEN you know you are doing a great job of description.

Keep it up!

I really appreciate you giving positive feedback ChiiFace. It's really the knowledge that my stories are being read and my work is being followed that is the sole thing that motivates me to keep going. Cybercity Newgrounds seems to have fallen out of some people's interest, but I always try to remain hopeful that the story is being read. As for the illustations, before I get to showing any scenes in particular, I'd like to finish the lengthy process of at least showing this part of the city totally completed. Thank you again for the encouragement. You are so getting a friend request.


Cybercity Newgrounds: A Cop's Tale
I wanna be an author someday.

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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 19th, 2013 @ 07:37 PM Reply

At 2/19/13 12:19 PM, silverspecks wrote: I want to share my vision of Cybercity Newgrounds with the rest of you. I feel it would aid any of my readers in "seeing" the story if they had an idea of what the city looked like. I spent many hours recently creating the basic layout of the residential and heavy industry level. There are no buildings in the pic, but I think it's worthwhile seeing the city without them because when they get added alot of the ground details will be covered up. I'll post a smaller version below. For a closer look, here's a link. If it doesn't work you can access it from my user page. I have yet to be scouted. What do you guys think?

Sorry just a P.S :
To add to my earlier point, you mentioned you want to aid readers into picturing your world. As i fully back your idea of illustration, i think you need to be careful you don't become lazy with your words and skip description for illustration. Like i say, i want to read your work THEN agree with your illustrations. Not see your illustrations then understand your story concept. Hope this makes sense.

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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 19th, 2013 @ 07:46 PM Reply

Sorry just a P.S :
To add to my earlier point, you mentioned you want to aid readers into picturing your world. As i fully back your idea of illustration, i think you need to be careful you don't become lazy with your words and skip description for illustration. Like i say, i want to read your work THEN agree with your illustrations. Not see your illustrations then understand your story concept. Hope this makes sense.

Oh it totally makes sense. I agree that illustration can never make up for a lazy effort when it comes to giving descriptions. Pictures should always be served as the supplementary side dish to the literary main course. I just figured that even the best writers can't explain scenes in such a perfect way that every reader will be left with no questions. The purpose of my illustrations will be to answer some of those remaining questions because lets face it, I'm not one of the best writers, and I will inevitably be leaving more uncertainty than professional authors (though it's something I will work on)


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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 21st, 2013 @ 05:16 PM Reply

*I was trying to work on the picture some more when I felt myself starting to lose my sight. So I decided to write the next chapter instead. I had so much fun with this one.*
*After reviewing the first chapter I realized I forgot to change "midnight" to 11pm in this sentence: "So he resolved to cut the fence, and when midnight rolled around, he did just that..."

Cybercity Newgrounds: A Cop's Tale

Brought In

While Logan was back hiding under row W, the personnel got into position with surprising swiftness. From where he was he couldn't see the droves of inspectors gather into the storage tanks of row Z through their north facing doors. Knowing that he was heading their way, they would be ready to pounce on him as soon as he broke his cover.

The only hint Logan saw that something was amiss was how the nearby inspectors quickly abandoned what they were doing and took off in the direction ahead of him. But it was all he needed to start questioning his situation. He considered the possibility that he'd been seen. If they knew he was there and were running in the direction ahead of him, then they had a general sense of where he intended to go and could thus be setting an ambush! Logan then pondered as to how he'd been seen. He was positive none of the personnel had spotted him. That only left the possibility that he'd been caught by at least one camera he didn't know about. So if he tried to remain stealthy and went back exactly the way he came, he would inevitably be caught again by that same camera and his position would be known.

He was in a no-win situation: get ambushed going forward or be exposed going back. He could try to escape over the fence bordering the yard's east side, but just the thought of that barbed wire top cutting him up was enough to make him wince.

. . .

Director Prower stood lost in thought as the two guards watched their screens like hawks. He broke from his trance when a possibility hit him. "Hand me the radio again."

"Sir?"

"If he's discovered we're setting up a sting, he's gonna go back the way he came to where he snuck in. Though we still don't know where that is, if every guard is in the north, who's gonna stop him." He held the radio to his mouth again. "This is Director Prower. Any personnel who aren't already settled for the ambush are to form an evenly spaced perimeter along the east fence and the eastern half of the southern fence. Also import shipping will temporarily be halted. Over. We don't want him escaping as a shipment stowaway now do we?"

Just as Prower finished talking, Logan appeared on a screen. He had broken from his cover and was now sprinting south.

"I see him on this- now this screen, sir."

"Bogie sighted running south at above average rate," Prower announced into the handheld. "He's moving along the shipping road. Available forces prepare to intercept. Over."

. . .

His adrenaline was through the roof. Logan hadn't seen anymore inspectors for a considerable amount of time so he figured almost all of them must be to the north. He'd abandoned his cover and started sprinting south to his hole thinking that the faster he went, the less prepared any stragglers would be to engage him. He held his crowbar at the ready, uncertain of when or how he'd use it.

He was truly running faster than he'd ever run before in his life, and he'd been a star athlete of the track team back in high school! Some officers who'd been running south were just getting the latest report when he went hauling ass past them not more than a few feet away. He heard them curse various things like his speed or how he'd gotten out of range of their stun guns. Three further down were more prepared. They'd seen him coming and had their stun clubs at the ready, crackling with energy.

Logan charged right at them never slowing down. As he neared the first he held the crowbar in an attack posture. The officer adopted a defensive stance not realizing that if the active stun club even touched the metal bar, Logan would be shocked. Logan was aware though, and swiftly juked to the guard's less prepared right side. The second officer, not far behind the first, was more aggressive and lunged at Logan with a backhand swing. Logan jumped and planted his right foot on the cop's left shoulder. Using the man as a platform, he leaped high into the air. With his legs tucked in and his arms spread like wings, Logan looked like something straight out of a martial arts flick. The third guard, close behind the second, was only just managing to look up by the time Logan was descending upon him. As he raised his club, Logan planted a foot on each of the poor man's shoulders. The sudden added weight caused the officer to tip over backwards, but he did slow Logan's fall.

His feet touched ground and he began sprinting again. His breathing was now heavy and beginning to turn frantic. The stunt he'd just pulled had started a fire in his lungs. Rounding the corner of row R (the last row before the fence) he was greeted by the sight of five officers obstructing his path to the apparently still undiscovered hole in the fence. Even if he somehow managed to outmaneuver all of them, he'd never be able to crawl through the hole fast enough to get away. Not stopping for an instant he turned to the shipping exit. It was now fenced off in response to the shipping halt. Damn! There was no other choice. This is gonna suck he thought to himself.

Logan raced straight at the fence. Some looked at him like he was crazy. Others gave chase. From a distance he threw the crowbar hard over the top. The impact of the metal against the concrete side of the building just beyond the fence was very loud. By the time the sound reached him, he was now close enough to the fence himself. From five feet away Logan made a mighty leap with arms outstretched and fingers resembling eagle talons. He hooked into the chain links only inches below the barbed wire. His legs also made contact and his feet scrambled for footholds in the holes too small for his shoes. Somehow he managed to pull himself up quickly, and he reached for the top of the fence. With all the adrenaline rocketing through him, he only felt a pressure instead of pain as he impaled his hands on the nasty little spikes.

The guards were closing in as Logan pulled his right leg up to the wire. A spine caught the fabric and tore his pant leg near the ankle. Unbeknownst to all, a sixth officer had been standing on top of the closest import tank in row R. He made his move as Logan was raising his leg. The cop seemed to glide as he double-gripped his stun club like a knife. Logan was about to fall to the relative freedom of the other side when he felt a sharp stabbing sensation just to the side of the base of his neck. He lost his breath and everything went black. His attacker hit the fence face first before falling on another officer. Logan fell backwards and was caught by two of the guards.

(continued)


Cybercity Newgrounds: A Cop's Tale
I wanna be an author someday.

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Response to A Fiction About The Ngpd Feb. 21st, 2013 @ 06:00 PM Reply

. . .

Blurry. Everything looked blurry. He tried blinking it away. That usually worked in the mornings. It wasn't working now though. His head drooped. He had a headache. His butt was going numb. Did I sleep sitting up? No, I always sleep on my stomach. Why can't I move my hands? With his gradually clearing eyes Logan looked down. Both of his wrists were handcuffed to the arms of the chair hidden under the table before him. He also noticed the bandages almost completely covering each hand and forearm. He tried to clench them and was rewarded with a fiery pain that only made his headache worse. More than anything he wanted to lay in the fetal position and rub his temples right now.

As if on cue to Logan's sight completely clearing, the door on the other side of the room opened. In walked a man dressed in a much more esteemed uniform than the ones Logan usually saw the police wearing. He had orange skin and underneath his hat orange hair and weird ears could be seen. In one hand he carried a file folder, and in the other he carried Logan's bag. He put each on the table then sat in the chair across from Logan. He stared quizzically while Logan looked back with a drooping head and half-open eyes.

"Are you competent?" the man started. "Can you understand what I'm saying? I need to know if you've sustained any brain damage before I proceed. Am I making sense? You need to talk to me."

"Aspirin," Logan managed to get out through gritting teeth.

"Excuse me?"

"For God's sake I'll talk! Just get me some Aspirin first, please!"

"Good." The man nodded to the one-way mirror and began taking another look at the files. A minute later a large woman holding two pills and a small cup of water opened the door and walked to Logan's side. She put the pills on his tongue then poured the water into his mouth. He made a very audible gulp as he downed the drug.

"I feel better already." The woman walked out leaving them alone.

"Do you know where you are?" the man asked.

"I've never been here before," Logan started, "but I'm willing to guess this is an interrogation room of the west NGPD building."

"So you also know why you're here?"

Logan felt like being a smartass. "It's because I didn't get away."

"Quite right," responded the man without a shred of anger. "As you've probably gathered, I'm not your typical member of the NGPD. My name is T. Prower, the first name is unimportant. I am Director of Unit Ops. and in this entire organization I am second in command only to NGPD Commissioner Crawford. Perhaps you should be grateful to have my personal audience." Prower was deliberately trying to evoke a reaction to better study Logan in person.

"Oh it's an honor." Logan rolled his eyes.

"You know it's funny. Over the years I've worked with many of Newgrounds's most serious cases. Conspiracies, violent mobs, you name it. But the smalltime stunt you pulled last night, I'm finding this more interesting than any of that. You put on quite the show both on and off the screens"

"Maybe it's because you saw me in action that- 'last night?!'"

"It's 6am right now kid."

"Oh fuck! My parents are gonna kill me," Logan groaned.

"Son, you've got a hell of a lot bigger problems." Prower was speaking with authority. "Now if you are ready to be serious- adult serious- I'd like to sort out some confusions IâEUTMm having."

Logan nodded.

"Good." Prower looked at the files again. "Your profile reads pretty average for someone your age. Eldest of two children in a typical working class family of the West Residential District. Grandson of deceased Elite Guard member Jonathan Valor. No past criminal record. Ongoing high school education"- Logan cleared his throat. "Something you want to say about school?"

"I'm done with it."

"You didn't graduate yet, you have to finish the year."

"I don't have to do anything."

"Well, school aside, I'm not seeing anything spotty, and that makes me wonder why you have these." Prower emptied Logan's bag onto the table. Some of the contents clanked loudly on the hard surface while others scattered. "A crowbar and flashlight; basic tools for robbery. A nearly perfect overhead layout of the entire West Import Yard. Detailed notes on personnel activity over a lengthy amount of time. And ten illegal fake NGPD identification cards. I've gotta say, this is not looking good for you." Prower paused a moment. "Now I'm not paid to jump to conclusions, so I might just calmly ask: are you involved with any criminal organization? Are any friends or family in trouble? How could you have known the existence and location of these cards? What could have possessed you to risk the harsh penalties for breaking into the facility?"

For a moment Logan was silent. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me."

Over the next twenty minutes Logan revealed everything to Prower as fully and truthfully as he could.

"Let me see if I got this straight. Not being in school anymore leaves you with all this free time and your hobby has become doing bad things. Lately you've grown tired of petty crime and besting the more relaxed security of other places so you challenged yourself against us and in a single day, you drew up this nearly flawless set of maps and plans to help you succeed. When looking for a 'trophy' to commemorate your planned success, you came across these IDs hidden under liquor bottles purely by chance and decided to take them because you figured they wouldn't be missed. And all this solely happened because you wanted a thrill?"

"It's all correct, sir."

Prower leaned back in his chair, adopting a very thoughtful look. He stayed silent for a full minute. But that minute passed agonizingly slow for Logan. "Alright," Prower finally broke the silence. "I've come to a decision. Being who I am I can pretty much single-handedly decide your fate. Trespassing on property of an organization like the NGPD usually results in jail time. But believe it or not, you've actually done the NGPD a service with your stunt. We now know precisely how we should increase our security. And these cards. Our current inspection process is not rigorous enough to have found these. Though the names are probably fake, you've basically provided us with the faces of ten unknown criminals. And let's not forget the skills you displayed in recon, stealth, physical ability, and situation assessment. All things considered, I've decided sending you to prison would be a waste. Instead I'm going to send you back to school."

"I'm ecstatic with your decision," Logan said glumly, "but I've missed way too much high school at this point to graduate."

"Oh no, I've got bigger plans for you." Prower grew a wicked grin. "You are hereby required to start attending the Newgrounds Police Academy. Congratulations, your sorry ass belongs to me!"

END CHAPTER 3

anyone who reads this, please comment!


Cybercity Newgrounds: A Cop's Tale
I wanna be an author someday.

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