Why i hate dogs

[C-Hawk]

#1: The owners that go overboard.
Warning: be ready to cleave through some of the worst puns ever made. It's like your half-literate great-aunt tried ecstasy for the first time and decided to try and write something.
#2: Pedigrees.
There are races of dogs that have been fucked with so often through inbreeding that they have congenital defects, and it's breeders' faults. Dobermen go fucking nuts and attack their own owners after a certain age. German shepperds get spinal conditions worse than mine and can't walk. Bull terriers have OCD. The real kind of OCD, not the one you insist you have and get medicated for, these little shits chase their own tails until they vomit and then start over. Daschunds have piss-poor bladders.
At least all Hitler did was kill the jews. Imagine if he inbred jews in order to make them pretty in the opinion of some rich French cuntbag.
#3: Eddie Griffin.
P.S.: I HATE DAWGS. Fee-fi-fo-fuck'em. Go to the pound, get a stray, spay \ neuter it, i don't hate you for it. If your dog has a specific pedigree, i hope you suffer the same pains your dog does, a slow painful death generated by your own ignorance. Y'know, in the interests of fairness.

[TheDunwichHorror]

i hate them because they serve no benefit to anyone at all

they're fucking dogs

unless you use them for hunting or seeing eye dogs they aren't much practical use

[Armour]

The Huski is the only dog I really like.

[Dean]

I think someone just wasn't allowed a pet dog as a young child. It's okay C-Hawk. We love you.

[C-Hawk]

At 4/11/11 09:26 AM, Dean wrote: I think someone just wasn't allowed a pet dog as a young child. It's okay C-Hawk. We love you.

I've had two cats, they hunt and kill shit all the time. If a dog sees a cockroach, all he does is bark for 14 hours straight and everybody in the neighborhood has to hear that shit, except for the owner who's on vacation and abandoned the useless mutt.

I love you too.

[Gagsy]

This thread might as well be called "The reason Leanne cannot marry Tiago :("

Also have a dog picture.

[Gagsy]

I forgot to mention you shouldn't hate the dogs for what generations of owners have done to them.

Hate people, respect the dogs.

[BlackmarketKraig]

While I do like dogs (even though I am more of a cat person) it does really bother me that breeding is important to so many people when, in so many instances, it is really unhealthy for the dogs. It also bothers me that people will pay so much money for a certain breed with a good pedigree when there are so many great dogs that don't have homes that are going to have to be put down while your dumb ass is paying $900 for a stupid-ass, inbred, half-retarded freak of nature.

So, yeah.... it's really people that suck, imo, and not dogs.

[C-Hawk]

At 4/11/11 09:41 AM, Gagsy wrote: Hate people, respect the dogs.

Torture people, euthanize the pedigrees*

[Chdonga]

I don't think it's my fault if my dog is born with a genetic problem. You should be yelling at the breeders, not the person who bought the dog.

Also your reasons why you hate dogs were terrible.

[C-Hawk]

At 4/11/11 09:49 AM, Chdonga wrote: I don't think it's my fault if my dog is born with a genetic problem.

Assuming you have a pedigree dog, if you had any choice in what dog you get, it kinda is.

You should be yelling at the breeders, not the person who bought the dog.

The person who bought the dog keeps the breeder's business going and is really the only reason breeders exist in the first place.
Also, even if you're given a husky in a hot climate (for example), you're just removing the responsibilities from the breeder who won't have to face his own hell or, god forbid, spend some money in taking care of a dog.

Also your reasons why you hate dogs were terrible.

Alright, i won't claim my reasons aren't half-assed and made in jest to begin with, but tell me why they're terrible.

[Shmossy]

I agree, man. Pedigrees cost a ton in vet bills too, due to their health weaknesses.

[DevourerJay]

Who could possibly hate my Golden Retriever dog?

although I don't go all overboard like that... shiiiit... 20k would solve a lot of my issues

[POTaTOS]

You just CAN'T say no to this face and MEAN it.

[Wolfos]

That's a strawman.

Your opinion: "I hate dogs."
Your arguments: "Some dog owners are stupid."
"Some dog races are stupid."

That's like saying you hate cars because some idiot drove one of a cliff.

[Gagsy]

I love my dog.

She'll probably have joint problems as she ages more. Not because she's pedigree or anything. She isn't. Supposed to be full Border Collie but I think her mummy did the naughty with a local tramp dog personally.

The reason I think she'll have joint problems is because she simply doesn't know when to stop. That'd the Collie part in her, and even though shes 8 she still acts like a puppy when shes out.

Just today halfway through our walk we found a football so I spent the rest of the walk kicking the ball for her to chase. Never once did she want me to stop kicking the ball and only after when we got home did she seem to realise her age when she laid down and then how it took her a few seconds longer to get herself up afterwards.

:(

My point is;

Shut up Tiago dogs make awesome pets for people like me who need their companionship and love, which cats just cannot give.

Find myself a real man you say? YOU KNOW I'M HOLDING OUT FOR YOU.

[CaveStoryGrounds]

Dogs are awesome, mine's part Husky and part Border-Collie making it strong and smart. She knows a large number of tricks, behaves very well, and is absolutely adorable. So go fuck yourself.

[Ericho]

I don't really care for dogs, but I don't really hate them. I have always wondered why it is that people have never trained attack cats instead of dogs. It seems like cats could do some real damage with their hard claws and everything. I have heard that cats can simply not be bred to become nasty like that. Doesn't that really say something about the nature of cats? Everyone says dogs are more loyal, but cats show compassion.

[C-Hawk]

At 4/11/11 10:16 AM, Urban-Champion wrote: Honestly, though, I do have to agree with almost all points you have to argue, but more or less your arguments relate more to the people who own dogs, rather than the dogs themselves.

I hate pedigree dog owners, as well as wild dogs for the disease and violence risks they represent.

Most dogs have a lot more to offer socially than most cats (of course there are exceptions in both cases), for example, most dogs come to greet anyone in their pack when they show up at the door. Dogs almost mentally rely on the compassion of their pack, and because they have somewhat evolved around this, makes them one of the most social animals in the world. Really, you have to own a dog to understand this.

Owning two cats in my life, i can safely say that 99% of the time, a cat won't give two shits about you, this is true. But when you are feeling down, they can tell, and for 15 minutes they suddenly become your best friends and just won't stop being all touchey-feely. I guess they save it for when it counts, as opposed to pissing all over your leg because they're so excited to see you after 30 seconds of you going to the back yard "OH MY GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONE FOREVER".

At 4/11/11 11:48 AM, DevourerJay wrote: Who could possibly hate my Golden Retriever dog?

I can.

At 4/11/11 12:01 PM, SSPBOURNE wrote: You just CAN'T say no to this face and MEAN it.

Yes i can. Watch:
NO.
Done.

At 4/11/11 12:04 PM, Wolfos wrote: That's a strawman.

Nope, ranting in faux-fury about something i'm really actually obviously half-serious-half-joking about is just the way i am.

At 4/11/11 12:12 PM, Gagsy wrote: Shut up Tiago dogs make awesome pets for people like me who need their companionship and love, which cats just cannot give.

Yours is a mutt, i only have half-rage for you for not castrating it. SNIPSNIP.

At 4/11/11 12:15 PM, CaveStoryGrounds wrote: She knows a large number of tricks, behaves very well, and is absolutely adorable. So go fuck yourself.

Does it know this awesome trick my cat does where she shits and pisses in the exact same spot every time without needing to be walked? Mkaythen, can your dog wash itself? Aw that sucks.

At 4/11/11 12:33 PM, Ericho wrote: Everyone says dogs are more loyal, but cats show compassion.

That's another reason: when have you heard about someone getting mauled and\or killed by a cat? Two huskies killed a baby in Canada a while back. I'll say that again: huskies killed their owners' baby. The only time you'll see a cat attack a person is if the person intentionally gives the cat no escape route.

[LethalDosage]

"Lola has transformed my life and makes me so much happier, so this was my way of thanking her."

This is what happens when you spend to much time on newgrounds

[StalkerGuy]

Oh fuck you, dogs are awesome.

[Gagsy]

At 4/11/11 12:59 PM, C-Hawk wrote:

Yours is a mutt, i only have half-rage for you for not castrating it. SNIPSNIP.

You're a mutt! D:<

Seriously though, why bither? She's hasn't had any puppies and she won't be either. She doesn't have any desire to anyway. Everytime a male dog sniffs her bum she gets her teeth out as a warning.

[PikaRobo]

At 4/11/11 09:21 AM, C-Hawk wrote: At least all Hitler did was kill the jews.

Out of context ftw!

[C-Hawk]

At 4/11/11 01:25 PM, PikaRobo wrote:

At 4/11/11 09:21 AM, C-Hawk wrote: At least all Hitler did was kill the jews.

Out of context ftw!

Name a difference.

At 4/11/11 01:25 PM, Gagsy wrote:

At 4/11/11 12:59 PM, C-Hawk wrote: Yours is a mutt, i only have half-rage for you for not castrating it. SNIPSNIP.

You're a mutt! D:<

YOUR MO- naw i won't go there.

Seriously though, why bither? She's hasn't had any puppies and she won't be either. She doesn't have any desire to anyway. Everytime a male dog sniffs her bum she gets her teeth out as a warning.

Doggie rape happens :c

[Gagsy]

At 4/11/11 01:29 PM, C-Hawk wrote:

YOUR MO- naw i won't go there.

Oh it's on >:C

Doggie rape happens :c

True, but she'd have to be away from me for that to ever happen. She wouldn't run away and if a dog comes up to her she's usually sticking to me in a weary manner anyway. She likes people more than other dogs.

I'm not about to let my dog get raped, and in 8 years no dog has tried. This one dog we see though, looks like Lassie, is well smitten with her but she don't want anything to do with him.

Is actually a shame because they would have gorgeous pups :(

[C-Hawk]

At 4/11/11 01:32 PM, Gagsy wrote: Is actually a shame because they would have gorgeous pups :(

... >:C THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

[Gagsy]

At 4/11/11 01:47 PM, C-Hawk wrote:

... >:C THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

NOT THAT I WOULD EVER MATE HER.

I COULD HAVE IF I WANTED TO BUT I WENT AGAINST IT AS SHE WOULDN'T HAVE WANTED TO.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

[StalkerGuy]

But seriously, you stereotype dogs like black people steal wallets.

[Magic-Mushroom]

People suck
Animals suck
Everything sucks

That's life, deal with it.

[NeverHundred]

A dog stole my bike when I was five, I've hated their lot ever since.