The new melody's good. Mastering wise, this was a little hard to listen to tho. Like dreamless said, you should try to bring out the peak of the kick (the "boom" sound) and less on the tail (the loud bassy sound after the "boom"). Drums were a little too loud in general.

I like it! But at 2:38 there's a sound I don't like :3

I was so familiar with this photos.
'Higher'
Anyway, it's a decent music, but the beat of the drop is Ear ill.

solid song with good structure. if you want to improve this, i'll leave some critique in the following:
- try making the drums tighter, especially the kick. maybe apply a transient processor to help accentuate the peak rather than the tail
- the compression is very harsh. try turning down the preamp and make the compression ratio a bit gentler
- the crash or fx at 2:00 is a little too loud. probably also because of the compression
- the tone at 2:45 does not fit at all. pitch it a little to match the key of the song
- work on the transitions when changing tension (is also linked to the compression)

YEEEAAAR!