Have you thought about changing the key of the song to minor instead of major? I think it you give you a much better sound and will hit the spot a lot more. The production is there but the downfall is.. so is the cheese. So cheesy bro.... try changing it to a minor key.. I bet the result will blow your mind.

Oh Nice

Something of a unique taste here with this one, it was a good tune and could use some extra tid bits here and there but maybe something just a tad more differant even random. just try some new things, and let it flow. into something even more creative. Oh this was something nice, I love the soft feel this had aswell as the unique sounds you mixed in there making for a nice peice of work here, very pleasent. But I must say that this was pretty good tune I was enjoying it, there was no real negitive points except for a few basic stuff, but overall a decent track here. and so I end this here shortly, I would like to say you have outdone yourself in a unique way keep that up.

~~THINGS TO IMPROVE ON~~
Here are some ideas that may work or may not work but you should try and work with some or if just one of the ideas, and if not then you are good to go, but anyways here is a possible idea.but do look into the possible ideas, I hope I may have helped just a tad. Adding more unique sounds and sound/fx

~X~