I think that the music itself has a good potential, but you have to tweak the timing of the first half a little bit more, the guitar is too off sometimes. I didn't like the sound of the bass drum, but this is just personal.
But I really like it, it has this emotional feeling that metalcore has sometimes. The part where the double kick enters is really awesome! Some bass would really help, though.

Good job!

I think personally it should speed up a bit then drop to a lower riff, then around 59 keep that speed then eventually work into something like speed metal, then when it reaches it's peak so it down then bring it into the break down., after the break down speed it up a little slow it down, then let it zone out. Also, you need to use your drums more, you were under performing, maybe put the tempo up a bit. I don't play any instrument myself, but I know what I like.