I get really bored sometimes and make hip hop beats, even though I absolutely despise rap. Feel free to make this fit, just be sure to credit me as the original author. DO NOT ATTEMPT UNLESS YOU PLAN TO GO HARD AS HELL.

-Hey, Old Woman (rap?)
By Jason Dean Lovecraft

Drivin' down the road
and I'm keepin' it real
Lettin' loose those horses
lettin' tires peel
goin' 20 over
cause I gotta get to class
The cops let me continue
justifiably haulin' ass
then outta no where
comes a Lincoln Continental
Goin' so slow that
it's makin me mental
I'm caught between it
and a semi truck
Nonagenarian Female
drivin slow as fuck

Hey, Old Woman
You're driving your car and me insane
I'd love to pass around you
but you're taking up both lanes
Gotta pity, stupid bitty
wrinkled skin and brittle bones
can't see speed limit signs
she left her glasses back at home
Got Glenn Miller on the radio
a walker in the trunk
she's drivin' slow as fuck and swervin'
bitch ain't even drunk
she's bringin' out my dark-side
got road rage and I
wish she'd do us all a favor
and act her fuckin' age and die

Hey, Old Woman, what's the fuckin' deal?
30 in a 55, bitch, are you for real?
The light just changed, don't you know what that means?
It doesn't mean sit there 5 more minutes, it's green.
Hey, old woman, are you messing with my head?
I'm pondering the possibility that you are dead
dead behind the wheel, or maybe you asleep
either way, Methuselah, get out the fuckin' street
Hey, old woman, how slow can you roll?
Got an IV runnin' from your center console
Is the elastic too tight in those high rise underpants?
Are they wrapped around your neck? Should I call an ambulance?
Where'd you get your liscense? Who declared you have learned
How to drive that town car, I'm genuinely concerned
For everybody that goin' my way
DANGEROUS OLD BITCH, GET OFF THE HIGHWAY

Stupid old bitch
what else can I say?
I'll try to ask politely:
GET THE FUCK OUT THE WAY
The way your ass is drivin'
drivin' my ass up the wall
Reminescing 'bout the 20's and poppin' geritol
Worryin' 'bout the absorbency in your new adult diapers
it ain't even rainin'
but you've got on your windshield wipers
gotta line of cars behind you 2 miles long
I gotta lotta rage, gonna go KING KONG