Terrible rapping
Since it seems like the only thing you did was rap, that's the only thing I'll comment on.
For starters, it is just chaotic. In a bad way. Like, I can't feel the rhythm in the song anymore because of the rapping. If you put emphasis on the 1 and 3 instead of just spouting words all over the place MAYBE it would good. And your voice sounds vaguely dorky. Sorry, man.
Just... ugh. Work on your flow and stuff. :)