It needs improvement.
You had it going nicely until the drums kicked in, the drums arent a bad thing, just dont make them sound so...cheap. Give them reeverb and compressor filters and just make them more REAL, well, actually, i was expecting you to have some hardcore-kicks/drums going, but you dont have any, i'll try and send you some of mine next time I see you're online. Another thing, the melody changes too much in the intro/beginning, and i just dont like how the song lacks the "energy" that i really thought it'd have, i mean, its a pretty relaxing song, despite the random melody changes.
Well, its good, but maybe a bit too "filtery" and scratchy, you used some not-so-appropriate-for-this-song presets in your flanger and phaser and whatnot filters.
Well, thats my review for ya, hope it helped!
:D nice song tho, just remaster/correct it a bit.