I'll critcise.
That's what I'm good at.
And since this is only an early version...
Make a ton of dirty synth. This need it, because it does bore (ehem, after a couple of loops, not the first run thorough. Good job with that.) after some time. Just backround Exsision style dubstep bass. Then maybe filter out the sound starting from highest down to lowest and... start the song?
Keep the industrial, but make sure to have the horror industrial used in Injection. That was epic.
Keep the loops veried slightly. Make sure the synth comes out of tune slightly from time to time to make it somewhat creepy. Do the same somehow with the guitar or something without making similar.
Good luck with it!
If you don't get very much of what I suggested into the song, it's fine. Your songs are always epic. xD