Needs some Working on...

Pretty standard, really.
Shoulda just taken a break then come back to it, becuz the intro sounds great, but then:

Your kick sounds more like a snare...Let the kick have power and bass
Your Baseline is too long. shorten so it just adds an effect.
The melody needs to be more clear with a sharper, synth or another sound.
The end part is a little abrupt. Needs to either fade out or mix well with another part.
Also work on your beat, sounds a bit messy, try adding some high hats, claps, and kicks. not so much snare.

Great start though.