Don't Trust a Crackhead
by Christopher James
parody of Don't Trust Me by 3OH!3

Black shorts, with speedos underneath
I got the breath of a turd and she's got fish in her teeth
And she's a crackwh*r*, but she ain't got no need
She's got pennies in a vault beside her dead husbad's feet
S-s-s-SLUGS, killed my mom and my dad
Now I'm stuck with a girl whose face is covered with scabs
So tell your boyfriend, if he says he's got crabs
That I'm a veterinarian and I will f*ckin' marry him

CHORUS:
She said she loved me, whoa
She owes me money, whoa
This sh*t's not funny, whoa-oh-oh
Don't mess with coke
Never mess with coke
Don't mess with coke
And don't f*ck me
(x2)

There's a penis, on the back of your head
Mold it into butter, and walk like the dead
And the near-beer you poured on your face
You got from purple midgets with a message from space
T-t-t-TRACK MARKS, cover your arms
And you don't know the kind of things I've done to you at the farm
But the fact is, no one knows who you are
Just another b*tch lying under my car

chorus

Shush girl, shut your lips
Do the hokey-pokey, and eat your own sh*t
(x3)

chorus

F*ck you.