well

I'm gonna write kind of a technical response here.

First and foremost, there's a huge amount of noise present in the recording. The everpresent hum is likely your computer cooling fan. If the microphone is sitting on a desk that's also holding up your computer, that'll transfer a pretty large amount of noise. Try moving the microphone to its own table. At 1:22 I think I hear someone in the background. That's definitely something you'll want to watch for.

Also be aware of which way the mic is pointed, it's likely a cardioid pattern, which means if you put sources of noise (ie the computer) directly behind the microphone, most of that noise will be 'blocked out.'

Sibilance is a bit much, you might try backing off of the mic (if you're recording in an environment that's not too terribly noisy you can always bring your levels up later with reasonable success). You can also experiment with placement. You don't need to be singing directly into the microphone, front and center, and you can get some good results with an off-axis placement.
It kind of sounds as though you're not really supporting yourself here. That may be intentional based on the content, but I'd like to hear what you can do when you really open up, vocally.

You'll want to experiment a little bit with EQing, to eliminate that slight 'cottony' feel. Play with a small boost or cut, covering an octave or so, and just sweep that up and down. You'll find spots that kind of make your voice feel a little more 'real', and really it all comes down to experimentation. I run live sound for musical theater on a fairly regular basis, and everyone's voice is a little different. It can even change based on what techniques you're using.

I'd definitely look into throwing down some kind of basic accompaniment for future vocal demos, just because it'll make the whole thing quite a bit more 'finished' feeling.

Overall I'd say you were off to a good start, and I look forward to hearing your work.