Death of A Lillium: Remake Take 1

hahah i've had my heart set on remaking this song into something really awesome. again this is just an idea, i plan on making the song longer and I of course am still working out some things for this song this version just kinda happened by mistake while messing with the tracks for this song, but i think i might have something going with this! It starts off a little slow but i think it just helps with the feeling portrayed by this song it came out sounding more "oriental" than intended but it has quality to it that I am willing to explore, constructive criticism is more than welcomed here whether you like the song or not please tell me why and what what could be done to make it better you things like "too much bass" or "needs violins" something of that sort

p.s. see if you can spot the Slayer riff I threw in there

Equipment used:
Guitar Pro 5
FL Studios 9 DEMO
Free Soundfonts i found on the internet