hmm...
Sweet intro. Those reverse-like flutes sound sweet.
1:42 was a bit too abrupt: fade-in required, imo.
1:42-2:08 is orgasmic.
2:46-3:50 : I didn't like that noisy synth at all =__=. Sorry man, but it covered all the other instruments in an unpleasant way. (It's the only reason why I gave it 7.5/10 -> 8/10)
4:03- : Sweet once more. A stronger and high-pitched pad would've made this superb, imo (e.g. "Nebula" in Sytrus).
I honestly didn't listen to the original Make-it-Better, but I think that this song has a lot of potential that wants to break free. I'd love to give it a try one day.