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Audio submission for Newgrounds' "Talk Like a Pirate Day 2009" competition. A little insight into Pirate Dave's day job as a patent attorney (junior partner). Sound effects from soundsnap. Script as below:

CAPTAIN: YARR! Enter, fellow murderous scab of the seven seas, yahar!

CREW1: Err... Hey there, Dave--

CAPTAIN: What kin I do fer ye, first mate Hookhands?

CREW1: It's Manuel, actually.

CAPTAIN: D'yarr! Tis no proper name for a pirate! Ye be needin' some HOOK or BLOOD or UNPLEASANT in thar!

CREW1: Aha, yeah about that - We've been talking. The "crew" and I?

CAPTAIN: Yarr, ye've been talking behind me back yarr.

CREW: And uhh.... we want you to hand over the hat.

CAPTAIN: Yarr. What hat?

CREW: THE hat. On your head.

CAPTAIN: Ye be wantin' the CAPTAIN'S HAT?

CREW: We weren't exactly sure how to tell you this--

CAPTAIN: YE BE WANTIN' THE CAPTAIN'S HAT?!?

CREW: Okay, this is exactly how I expected you to react - but--

CAPTAIN: I SEES IT NOW! MUTINY! YE PACK OF MOON-ADDLED SEA URCHINS! Well, ye may have taken me vessel! But ye kin never take - ME HAT! YAHAR!

CREW2: Hey Manuel, you got Dave's hat yet? We got the fire started and whoa. Awkward.

CREW2: Wasn't that from Braveheart?

CAPTAIN: YAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAR!

Enjoy!

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Average Score: 9.4 / 10

Score: 10

"ARGH PIRATE !"

by: Hulalaoo

date: September 5, 2009

i wanna animated this !, thanks for make the subtibles !

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People think this is a useless review.

Score: 10

"Edwyn, let me just say..."

by: biggiek7888

date: September 4, 2009

That was some of the most enjoyable 60 seconds I've experienced all week. Dave's craziness, the mate's escaping the loony bin, and just all of Dave's mannerisms. "Yar ye be talking behind me back, yar." Just everything one could ask for in pirate related
shenanigans.

Yar, yee deserve a 10/10, the victory of this competition, the buried treasure worth 150 deblums...and all the corn in Iowa, lad. Excellent work, matey.

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Score: 8

"Brilliant"

by: Tawl

date: September 3, 2009

I was actually taken aback when I read in another review that this was set in a patent office, guess it pays to read the description. On the first listen through I pictured a crew on a ship mutinying against the captain for talking like a pirate cliche. The second listen through I pictured it in the office setting. I can't decide which was funnier.

For my money this is one of the best. Hopefully someone will pick this one up.