Audio submission for Newgrounds' "Talk Like a Pirate Day 2009" competition. A little insight into Pirate Dave's day job as a patent attorney (junior partner). Sound effects from soundsnap. Script as below:
CAPTAIN: YARR! Enter, fellow murderous scab of the seven seas, yahar!
CREW1: Err... Hey there, Dave--
CAPTAIN: What kin I do fer ye, first mate Hookhands?
CREW1: It's Manuel, actually.
CAPTAIN: D'yarr! Tis no proper name for a pirate! Ye be needin' some HOOK or BLOOD or UNPLEASANT in thar!
CREW1: Aha, yeah about that - We've been talking. The "crew" and I?
CAPTAIN: Yarr, ye've been talking behind me back yarr.
CREW: And uhh.... we want you to hand over the hat.
CAPTAIN: Yarr. What hat?
CREW: THE hat. On your head.
CAPTAIN: Ye be wantin' the CAPTAIN'S HAT?
CREW: We weren't exactly sure how to tell you this--
CAPTAIN: YE BE WANTIN' THE CAPTAIN'S HAT?!?
CREW: Okay, this is exactly how I expected you to react - but--
CAPTAIN: I SEES IT NOW! MUTINY! YE PACK OF MOON-ADDLED SEA URCHINS! Well, ye may have taken me vessel! But ye kin never take - ME HAT! YAHAR!
CREW2: Hey Manuel, you got Dave's hat yet? We got the fire started and whoa. Awkward.
CREW2: Wasn't that from Braveheart?
CAPTAIN: YAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAR!
Enjoy!