Hmm listen

The melody in the middle YES could be used in some mario flash game or something.. but that intro O.o really sux! why didnt u make a loop with that melody?

that could've been better! that melody is better then gustav t's :D

Helth
5'd allthough ur my friend ;)

Bland and dull

I'm sorry, but this sounds like crap. You need to add more instruments and length the song. Also make it more interesting instead of having only a few instruments playing at a time