well...

I understand what it is you are trying to pull off here, and let me tell you now that you are using the right sounds and lead instruments, but i'm not to sure i you are using the correct key signature. I believe it is when using the key signature that you have messed up. Its all about the series of notes you are using and i'm not to sure if you know the set of notes which correspond best to your song and what you have made so far. If anything, this song could have been great but you gotta get your notes right, plus it sounds way to retro. May i suggest throwing in some different variaties of melodies?

Really, all you have to do is to take your time. You are rushing this way to much and you just gotta take it slow. try it out next time and you'll see the difference.

v. good 8/10

hmm....v good.
could do wth more bass.....ppl like bass

and i couldnt feel it through my chair....so only an 8/10

keep up the good work though