Needs a melody

You've got a rythm, but you need a melody too. That would make the song interesting. Without melodies, they're just annoying reptetive things. All musicians know that.

Boom

I'd say, at the beginning, after that series of six hit-things, add a louder, more energetic and singular (as opposed to repetitious) part that suggests someone slamming their flaming foot into their opponent's nose. Then get on with the rest of the song.

It still wouldn't work entirely, but that's one thing I'd like.

hint:make a longer version

1 thing :make it longer
i hope that's better than this

Too short

And even then you made it repetitive. Sorry, but it just doesn't work for me.