work != good

Ok, you put work into this. That much I can tell. Nobody can construct something like that without some amount of dedication. But hard work doesn't always translate into something good.

So let me explain where I'm coming from here. Alot of the music seems to have a lot of dissonance. And by that I mean, some notes just plain dont fit. If used correctly, dissonance can be a very effective tool in writing music. But random out-of-key notes isn't necessarily "effective". I'm trying not be mean here, so if it seems like I'm trying to condescend then I have been misunderstood.

The solo thing that comes in at :13 is exactly what I'm talking about. Throughout the whole thing, it really doesn't stay put in-key. It's sort of a rebellious teenager and feels like doing whatever the hell it wants. Which describes me by the way.

But there is no doubt in my mind that you will get better. Everything that I see wrong in your music will eventually be worked out. You'll get better at recognising good ideas. You see, I've endured the same things other people go through and there's no words you can say to help them, they will learn on their own. But I hope that maybe I've pushed you in the right direction.