Well...
It's not horrible, but it's not that great either. The intro was really nice, but when you started strumming, you lost me. The chorus sounds like you're trying too hard. Tone it down a little bit and let it flow better. The lyrics aren't bad, but try letting them flow together with the music a little more. Also, the guitar drowns out your voice, which makes it kind of hard to listen to.
To be honest, it reminds me of some of the music I wrote years ago. Just keep practicing and this could be a really good song.