better then mine 10/10

awesome, dude! I'm seeing a lot of personality show through :D
One thing I can suggest is that even if one eye is farther away from the viewer they're still so close together that it won't really get smaller vertically, just horizontally.
And since you mentioned the hair don't be afraid to have locks of hair come away from the silhouette of the head, at the top its one smooth line but following the direction of her locks of hair you can add more volume :0
I hope that all makes sense I don't normally give critiques because it's so pushy to throw my opinion at ppl lmao
anyway lemme know if I need to explain anything better!