When you feel like a monster, unreachable, untouchable, it can hurt so greatly when you're finally embraced. Your form will shiver, and every face of yourself will turn in fear ' What if it's not real.' 'What if it's a terrible lie?' 'What if I reach out in return to hold back onto nothing?' It's painful to be vulnerable.

I was at your mercy..you know? When people were unaware I was even there, it was okay. When swords were raised to me, it was okay. But..when you knelt to me, knelt for me..it was the worst feeling in the world. I'm a monster..but you called me your monster..my heart broke..when I forgot I had one.

Only you could see all this. I hate terribly..so very terribly..how much I love you.

Inspired by Blujay's " No Matter What " which can be found here https://youtu.be/JPizGlTuBfk