Interesting eyes
I like the form of this image, the way that the characters are captured in motion, as opposed to "striking a pose", which would normally take a lot away from the image that you've given us.
The cityscape that you've put in the background is nice and does a good job, considering it's just a silhouette. Perhaps the stars could have been a little more sparse, what about throwing in something that resembles a constellation, just to give the sky a little meaning. Pretty much everyone knows the big dipper or Orion these days.
A friend of mine draws in a similar vein to this - I'll have to show her, so that she knuckles down to try and get things up on here. I'm sure she'd love to discuss tips with you as well.
I'd love to see what the girl on the left is so worried about - it's as if she has seen someone doing something unsavoury on a nearby rooftop and regardless of that, she can't take her eyes off it.
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